My Calling

I look up to the sky and ask “please tell me, where’s my Father at?”

The only thing he gave me was His judgment and a baseball bat

Looking back, it hurts so much that all I do is shake my head

Take a sip to numb the pain and write things in an empty bed

An illusion wrapped in chaos, this life I’ll never understand

In youth my lens was crystal clear, yet nothings gone as I had planned

I cannot help but ask myself, since all He gives are question marks

Why my mind was once so bright, but now has faded into dark

And though inside I’m stricken by confusion, malice, fear and spite

Such burdens sparked the things I love and what I think about at night

Passion, purpose, paths ahead, for so long were a mystery

An emptiness that I’ve since filled, a truth engulfed in irony

That which now I know so well was always there for me to find

This pen and pad have saved my life, opened eyes which once were blind

And now as I return my gaze to He who only ran and hid

I realize writings raised me more than my own absent Father did

I’ve gripped the future, finally; its fate is under my control

I’ve peered so deep into its eyes, I own its very heart and soul

Its twisted, yes, that in the end it’s loss that’s what has given me

The answer that I needed most: My Calling is my destiny


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