Christmas: 2021

‘Twas the night before Christmas

And all through the house

Not a creature was stirring

…except Missus Clowse

“Get up you old fat man!”

“You’ve a job to do!”

“Gifts don’t wrap themselves!”

“So stop hitting ‘Snooze’!”

And from that point on

This old Santa could tell

That this one year’s Christmas

Was gonna be Hell

It started with laughing

A “Ho Ho!”, you see

But even Saint Nick

Can’t shake destiny

For ‘aft his Miss nagging

He checked on his elves

Noticing, sadly

Toys still sat on shelves

“What’s wrong with you elflings?”

This shocked Santa did say

“My good list is waiting”

“To have presents and play!”

“Why is my sleigh barren?”

“Why isn’t it full?”

The head elf then hiccuped

Shrugged “‘nogs out, make full?”

“What tha -!” Sant bellowed

“Are you telling me”

“That it’s time for riding”

“And my elves, drinking?!”

Disappointed, he looked down

His head simply shook

“I guess it’s on me, then”

‘Sponsibility, he took

Yes, right then and there

He decided to fight

So he could deliver

Each gift on that night

After a long while

When all gifts were near

He looked at his sleigh

Said “where’s my reindeer?”

He looked and he shouted

“Hey, Comet and Cupid!”

“Where are you dumb deer?!”

“Get over here, stupid!”

He waited a moment

And then, sure enough

His reindeer, complaining

Said “this job’s too tough”

His eyes were just rolling

As he stood there, alone

A light bulb then went off

He gave Rudolph a bone

Then, all ‘a sudden

They lined as a group

For they knew ‘twas his nose

That led their whole troupe

But yep, you all guessed it

The moment was foiled

For his red nose engine

Had not been nose oiled

“You’re kidding me”

Our Santa exclaimed

“Alright Dasher, Dancer”

“I guess you take the reins”

At last, he was airborne

But it didn’t take too long

For Dasher and Dancer

To lose tune with their song

A gift was delivered

To a child, somehow

Who’s list read “a puppy”

Who then got…a cow

Riding ‘way after

Klaus yelled, with inflection

“Come on you dumb deer!”

“Can’t you follow direction?!”

“Dasher and Dancer”

“And Donner and Blitzen!”

“Stop snapping your selfies”

“Just shut up and LISTEN!”

Saint Nick went unheard

Two thousand ‘twent one

It was this here Christmas

That did fat man undone


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s