You Sexy Thing

Its been a minute since I’ve written a thought piece. And by a minute, I mean more like probably over a year.

That’s okay though, because we all know that life is a collection of strange happenings which generally have no explanation whatsoever insofar as timing, appropriateness, and/or reasoning. So who cares? Point is, you are a sexy thing,

I say this because I just watched perhaps one of the best episodes of anything when it comes to feeling good about yourself. An episode which, incidentally, has sparked two very important things within my psyche. Both of which I shall now unabashedly share as if from the tip top of moun-tane.

One: I am at last dangerously close, for real this time, to being done with my next book. That’s something I need to get out there, because its been another minute since my last officiando (made-up word) write-piece. That is to say, I haven’t published anything in over a year, and that is something which will soon be changing; assuming the Literary Gods decide to smile upon me. I’m doing it for real this time, you see, and am about to engage in a heated battle of querying a story with much focus on financial marketability/ Because not only is it that time, but it is also that moment whereupon I must decide whether to maintain a firm grip on my soul, or to pander myself to the powers that be. After much consideration, I have decided to allow the powers that be to take up temporary residence within my brain space, thus ironically rendering me capable of accomplishing things not within their purview. This time around, we’re going to be doing things with a more realistic approach (BORRRRRIINNNGGGG!!!!!). Rather than letting aliens try and guide us, since you know, we have it all figured out already- let’s instead focus on getting rid of elected politicians. Well, at least their role in telling us all what to do, that is. You know, voting on the rules and all that. I suppose we can still let them propose new rules and such, because obviously they’re not gonna be all that cool with giving up their power and whatnot, the whores. Not to mention life is way more fun when actually lived, alive. So there’s that.

Anyway, that’s just stuff. More on that later.

Two: you are a sexy thing. Whether you know it or not, nor whether you like it or not. It is simply the objective truth. You, m’dear, are a sexy thing. Let me explain why, and how this Netflix episode made it so abundantly clear.

You…are so sessy.

The inspiration for this post essentially exists to tell you this: no matter what you feel like, no matter what you look like, no matter what you whatever like…you are beautiful. You are imperfectly perfect.

Just. The way. You are.

Yes, said inspiration was itself, in fact, inspired by a Netflix show. Sue me. Who cares? That said, this is your source material: Guillermo del Toro‘s Cabinet of Curiosities.

This particular episode warrants mention, again, for two reasons. The first of which is its profound message, not-at-all-disguised within the show itself. It follows an adorably sad banker with whom I think we can all probably empathize, as she tends to be the odd duck out in her work environment and other social gatherings. Surrounded by colleagues who are otherwise beautiful and full of “life”, when they aren’t flaunting their fake-euphoria to customers, they spend most of the day gossiping about their Gatsby-like existences; cabana-boy encounters and all.

Buy more Aloe-Glo!


To spare you the hour-long story, brevity will instead tell you that sadly, our ugly duckling is persuaded to join the rat race toward beauty via a hilarious, ridiculously marketed lotion product which ultimately takes over our heroine’s life (the salesman’s pronunciation of Staze-y though lol). And while she does in fact lose the battle to what Jax would surely shake her head at, it was the final acting that prompted this post.

In perhaps one of the most brilliant displays of acting I have ever seen, a newly gorgeous “yuck-to-yowza!” Stacey (played by Kate Micucci) performs an amazingly controlled series of facial expressions depicting the range of emotions of her newfound beauty. As you watch the credits roll, her face says EVERYTHING there is to say about the sacrifices she made throughout the episode to achieve the brainless, robotic sense of beauty she gave so much up to obtain.

All of this is to say, if you have Netflix…watch this. The Outside is Episode 4. Not only does the final however-many seconds deserve an acting award in and of itself, but the social implications of it are, as aforementioned, profound.

You are all beautimous.

In conclusion, I shall say it again: you are beautiful, you sexy thing.

Just. The way. You are.

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