I fear I’ll never know why they did the things that they did. Yet, counter-intuitively, this is the very question that lies at the bottom of every single shred of truth I find in my quest to understand these things called humans.
Why did they do what they did? This rudimentary, fundamental question has haunted me since the first day I began studying these creatures. From the very first memory I transposed…that hazy, clouded image of a mother taking the bottle away from its child’s insatiable lips, I’ve always wondered – why? Why did she do that?
It is this that sparked my quest into the deepest levels of their consciousness. A quest motivated by nothing other than lingering curiosity. I have decided that I must understand the workings behind the human psyche. I must understand the reason behind their actions. Why did the mother protect her children from the dangers of the world? Why did the General fight to the death to protect his men? Why did the shaman perform such dances to predict a year’s harvest? What forces were behind these behaviors? What motivations caused them to transpire?
It is this question that I have to answer.
I must understand…why.
It is such a curious concept. It exists behind everything. Every single action, every single behavior, every single thing we do is motivated by thought, whether conscious or not. Breathing, for example. Do you think every time you take a breath? I think not. And yet you do it.
I am having difficulty compartmentalizing the minutia of human behavior. What things do I file as instinctual behavior, and what things do I classify as conscious behavior? It is a task my superiors have asked of me, and quite frankly, I do not yet know where to draw the line. What things were under these humans’ control? What things were manifested simply because of the circumstances at a given time? What could be helped, and what couldn’t?
The more answers I seek, the more questions I seem to face. This shall be a most difficult undertaking, if I am to speak openly. There are so many pressures I feel falling upon me to fully create an analysis of such behavior. This question of why may be my undoing.
I’ve yet to determine an answer.
My superiors are hounding me.
They claim to know more about these humans than I do. Obviously this is impossible. I have spent an entire career studying them. For years and years I have unearthed and uncovered recollections of this primitive species. No, those who oversee my operation are simply misinformed. They have no idea what it is I am carving into. My research has produced the most comprehensive recollection of what this species was. They were primal, to be sure, but they were brilliant at the same time. Many of the transcriptions I’ve deciphered tell to us a tale of severe calamity, a world where everyone was fighting one another. It is obvious based upon the interpretations of the sites we have uncovered that there was much turmoil at this point in their civilization.
And yet, the artifacts I’ve recovered tell me that they lived on. What happened? What events occurred that caused such a seemingly advanced civilization to crumble the way that they did?
These questions haunt me. I shall unearth this mystery; I know it lies here, somewhere. Its waiting to be discovered, just as the frozen bodies found at the southernmost point of this world.
I will find the answer.
I have made a breakthrough.
Today I was able to rig one of the machines these humans used to work. It seems as if they had the foresight to record the lives and events of certain individuals. As to why, it is difficult to determine.
It is a curious concept to me, I will say. I can only presume that they preserved such events so the recollection of their civilization perseveres. I have come upon many of these mechanisms during my research which, when successfully stimulated, projects the images and sounds that this society experienced during their time.
Just yesterday it showed me a most puzzling example of said recollections. The vast majority of my findings have shown me these ancient cultures simply interacting with one another in mostly mundane circumstances. Yesterday, however, I obtained something which portrayed a profound individual who I can only imagine lived amongst these primitive societies as they evolved. He wore a kind of red shall on his back, along with an unusual form fitting suit of sorts, resembling the color of the planets oceans. There was also a geometric pentagon on the bust of the individual’s suit, which contained a single scribe belonging to the archaic language these people utilized for communication.
I can not yet determine what this means in regard to my tasks. What kind of civilization was this? We’re there ones chosen on occasion to perform impossible feats? Had they harnessed the full potential of universal physics, creating what I can only call a sort of supreme being capable of what the masses were not?
My research must dive deeper into this anomalous finding. I am relentlessly compelled to discover who these particularly capable beings were. Perhaps these privileged few carried knowledge beyond our understanding.
There is much work to be done.