The Lenghornian Revolt Returns: Chapter 7

Deep, deep in the Tower of Management, there remains a sliver of silver that can be used to reforge the Chains of Meaningless Rules. 

And reforged they shall be.


“Kelsey! Come see what I have in store for our server subordinates!” Slug shouts, his voice echoing across the stone walls of the Tower of Management. 

Holding a scroll of guest satisfaction surveys, Slug reveals the low score that some of the servers have received.

“Behold, says that Emily the Nice Buns failed to bring bread to her table in a timely manner! Surely this will serve as leverage in our attempts to oust her.” He says, creepily rubbing his hands together.  

“You are right, Slug.” Kelsey sneers. “Her buns can only get her so far. At a certain point we must consider her true value as a server!”

“Yes, indeed.” Slug replies. “But alas, those are some hot crossed buns.”

“Hot crossed buns or not, we must focus on servability if we are to prevail! Do not let your Slugly desires cloud your judgment of the Lenghornians!” Kelsey shouts, obviously annoyed at Slug’s acknowledgment of Emily’s nice buns.

“Lo, you are right my dear.” Slug says, shaking his head. “I cannot allow her to use her Bun magic on me, as she has many men before. Thank you for your wisdom, my dear Kelsey.” 

“Of course.” Kelsey says. “Now, we have important issues to discuss.”

“Then let us discuss them!” Slug shouts.

“Yes,” Kelsey says. “Discuss them we shall. I fear that the servers are incapable of handling a table of ten by themselves. We must pass a Declaration that states any party of 9 or more shall be split between TWO servers!”

“But Kelsey! What if that ends up complicating things?! Surely our servers are capable enough to handle such parties alone! For we do not hire Those Without Brains! After all, it might become confusing for the customers to deal with two servers, especially when they ask for extra ranch! They always assume the other server will obtain it and it ends up getting forgotten! And these errors always end up in us having to comp a meal!”

“It matters not, my dear Slug.” Kelsey says. “For this edict has been passed down by the reforging of the Chains of Meaningless Rules! Parties shall be split whether it makes sense or not!!”


“The Chains have been reforged?!” Slug asks. 

“Yes.” Kelsey sneers. “And this time they are molded with an unbreakable adhesive. We have poured veggie butter over the links of the chain, allowing it to coagulate and mold into a bond stronger than ever before!! Muahahahahaha!!!”

“Incredible.” Slug says in awe. “You are a brilliant schemer indeed.” He adds, bowing before her. “I look forward to returning the servers to their rightful place.”

Cackling together, Slug and Kelsey retreat into the Tower to begin plotting their other schemes.

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