After the seventh hour of the seventh day of the seventh month of the seventh year of the seventh century of the seventh Age, the brave Bite, Toother Mansbestfrienddragon, overcame his enemies. He led a valiant assault upon the entire Realm, ousting the Phelyons and their evil regime. This is common knowledge, and their story … More The Ward & the Bone: 7
The evening following their arrival to Cage Spamalot, The Lady of the Shake and her honorable Bites have settled into their guest quarters, much appreciating the fluffy, soft floor beds Grr Barker and his troupe has made available. As is customary, a Grand Feast is held in honor of the regal guests, with minstrels and … More The Ward & the Bone: 6
The morning following the magnificent feast of the finest soft foods, the Bites of the Round Bowl are beginning to wake up, clumsily trotting into the Breakfast Chamber where they are all fed the day’s first meal. As the last of their troupe, Grr Sleepsalot, finally enters the chamber, the soft sound of music can … More The Ward & the Bone: 5
Grr Barker “Grr Barker! You have forgotten your vest-piece!” As the gigantic crowd gathering around the fairgrounds sits in anticipation of the Games, the magic-wielding mentor of Grr Barker, heir to the Bone, chases after the daring Prince holding a Leash of Armor in his hand. “Fear not, Squirrelin!” Grr Barker shouts back as he … More The Ward & the Bone: 2
The Beginning Lo, verily, and behold. It was the seventh hour of the seventh day of the seventh month of the seventh year of the seventh century of the seventh Age; the Bone Age. For so long had the Realm been ruled by the monsters of yesteryear. Those snide, cunningly demonic oppressors who could see … More The Ward and the Bone: 1
Why does he just stare at me As I’m driving, silently Watching oh so creepily Licking chops so hungrily Does he think of eating me? Does he want his bowl to be Filled with water, does he see How his gaze drives me crazy? I must breathe, I think I’m free Surely he is not … More No, B!
Oooookay! Where do I even begin? I suppose a little background context is a good place to start. So my dog, Mr Baxter, has a nasty habit of chewing his leashes. He’s pretty much the perfect pup outside of that one annoying, economically burdening trait. Most of my brainstorming for writing is done with a … More My Dog is Famous
“Hey, what was the name of that new girl again? You know, the brown haired Lenghornian with the exquisite…personality?” Back in Spam’s newly reconstructed Tower of Management, Will the Wolf ponders the assets of a Lenghornian newcomer with Chilian manservent, Quesadilla. “I know not, my Lord.” Quesadilla replies. “I am but a lowly Chilian. Our … More The Revolt Returns: 8
I’d like to tell a story So I can make it known About the cutest little bird The best that’s ever flown Many of us wonder What it feels like up above We watch the seagulls, larks and jays The pigeons and the doves Gliding through the air with ease Owning all the sky Diving … More My Favorite Bird: A Puffin Poem
This has been a long time coming. I should actually be somewhat ashamed of myself that I’ve had this blog for a year now and haven’t written anything committed to my best friend in the universe. The time has come to end this travesty. Today I commend my little friend here, Mr Baxter. He likes … More Mr Baxter
How the World Should Work 