On November the fourth, at five fifteen in the afternoon, a sharply dressed gentleman in a casual suit, cowboy hat, and shiny snakeskin boots walks into a dive bar on the busy streets of New York City. Approaching the long row of stools aligning the bar top, he chooses one directly adjacent to the only … More Perspective, Pt. 1
Late one night, on the latest of one nights, it was obnoxiously loud on Facebook Avenue. As always. Avatar after stupid avatar was bickering and fighting, probably about Trump even though he’s late news, and nobody could get to freaking sleep. So one dude, brilliantly, said to himself: “You know what? Fuck this. I’m out. … More A Stroll Down Facebook Avenue
It’s weird for me to be telling this story. I just want to be upfront about that before we get too much further into this little journey you and I are about to go on. Sometimes I wonder why it’s so hard to talk about this stuff when I’m face to face with people, but … More The One: Entry 2
Can we be honest with ourselves for a moment? I want to talk about some things. Things like Facebook. Twitter. Instagram, perhaps. Hell, even Tinder…anything that lets people advertise who they are (or at least who they want to be) without having to concern themselves with the real world. Yeah, I know. It’s not easy … More The One: First Entry
91 At 91, Gladys sips bourbon from her grandmother’s floral teacup. It’s eleven in the morning. The teacup shakes slightly in her veined, big-knuckled hand. The saucer clinks several times as she sets it down. She’s given up reading the newspaper because her eyes are shot and she feels reading glasses are gauche. Instead of … More 91 (A Short Story by Josh Jones)
“Grr Barker, you’re up early.” Trotting aimlessly through the hedge maze outside of Cage Spamalot, Master Squirrelin spots the new King on a morning stroll. “Aye, Master. I found it difficult to slumber this morning. I am used to my princely duties, but now that I have inherited the Bone, I find that the responsibilities … More The Ward & the Bone: 12
After the seventh hour of the seventh day of the seventh month of the seventh year of the seventh century of the seventh Age, the brave Bite, Toother Mansbestfrienddragon, overcame his enemies. He led a valiant assault upon the entire Realm, ousting the Phelyons and their evil regime. This is common knowledge, and their story … More The Ward & the Bone: 7
Days after the Games, the valiant Prince Grr Barker, first in line for the Bone, parades around the halls of Cage Spamalot, the stone castle which the Bites of the Round Bowl call home. “I suppose you all witnessed my triumphant victory the other day?” The prince howls, his chest puffed out in pride. “Aye, … More The Ward & the Bone: 4
Grr Barker “Grr Barker! You have forgotten your vest-piece!” As the gigantic crowd gathering around the fairgrounds sits in anticipation of the Games, the magic-wielding mentor of Grr Barker, heir to the Bone, chases after the daring Prince holding a Leash of Armor in his hand. “Fear not, Squirrelin!” Grr Barker shouts back as he … More The Ward & the Bone: 2
The Beginning Lo, verily, and behold. It was the seventh hour of the seventh day of the seventh month of the seventh year of the seventh century of the seventh Age; the Bone Age. For so long had the Realm been ruled by the monsters of yesteryear. Those snide, cunningly demonic oppressors who could see … More The Ward and the Bone: 1
“YEEEEEHAW!” Driving crazily through the backwoods of a Tennessee highway, Joe and Carl are having the time of their lives in their ’91 Chevy S-10. “Built Ford tuff motha fuckas!!” Joe shouts out of the passenger window, can of Natty Ice in hand. “Joe, this here’s a damn Chev Ro Lay!” Carl asserts, punching his … More The Tiki Torches: 2
“‘Ay Carl!” “Wut?” “Ya think this in’ll work?” Strolling along the calamitous alleyways of the local Wal-Smart, Carl and Joe have a bit of difficulty deciding what torches to carry to their Klan march. Plop “There!” Joe shouts, proudly placing his newly acquired bug-deterrent torch in the basket, ready to check out. “Now just you … More The Tiki Torches: 1
Chapter 1 They’re so cute!” Looking into a giant glass terrarium at her small colony of pets within, a little girl tugs on her father’s sleeve to get his attention. “I know, dear. They’re very cute. Now get tucked in, it’s getting past your bedtime,” the father says. “But Daddy!” The little girl begs, peering … More For Better or Worse
IMPORTANT: HUMAN BEINGS ARE VOLATILE, DANGEROUS, AND EMOTIONALLY UNPREDICTABLE ***Handle with utmost caution. Do not allow these creatures outside of the included habitat*** Setting her instruction booklet aside, the little girl takes one final look at her “teenie-weenies”, before clearing the tank to make room for her next batch of creatures. “Sorry little guys!! I … More For Better or Worse (Ch 8)
“Ho hum ho hum deedeedee!” Joyfully skipping around her bedroom, the little girl is singing and humming to herself as her furry pigtails bounce around behind her. “Now, what are my teenie-weenies up to today?” She asks, skipping over to the terrarium. As she peers inside, she sees that her little creatures have erected an … More For Better or Worse (Ch 7)
Caution: Creatures may occasionally engage in physical conflict. It is important for the owner of the habitat to pay close attention to how your terrarium’s occupants are grouped. Indicators of impending conflict may include, but are not limited to: Two large groups of inhabitants facing one another in close proximity. Usually preceded by audible squealing … More For Better or Worse (Ch 6)
“Hidey hidey hoooo!!” Happily skipping over to the habitat on her table, the little girl in the bedroom is gleaming over the new cut she’s gotten for her fur. “Do you like my new bangs, teenie weenies?” She excitedly asks her pets. “I know you can’t understand me, but I bet you do! They’re very … More For Better or Worse (Ch 5)
“All better!” Pulling her arm from out of the tank, the little girl slides the lid back on her glass habitat after setting down the little newborn she’d taken out the night before. “Those nutrients will make you a super pet!” She shouts, watching the parents finally reconnect with their baby. “Anyway,” the girl says, … More For Better or Worse (Ch 4)
“Aw, yay!” The day after disposing the dead creature, the little girl is pleasantly surprised to see that two of her pets have had a baby. Standing over the dome with a wide grin on her face, she looks down at the two tiny creatures nurturing their teenie, fragile newborn. “Good job, you two! I … More For Better or Worse (Ch 3)
“Rise and shine, everyone!” Quickly pulling away the large veil covering the girl’s terrarium, she excitedly greets the occupants inside. “I bet you guys are hungry, aren’t you?” She asks matter-of-factly. Walking to the small closet in the corner of her room, she grabs a packet of food and a pale of water. “And … More For Better or Worse (Ch 2)
How the World Should Work 