Morgan Le Fey

Recognize where my intentions lie by looking deep into my eyes, you will find I don’t disguise the things that others try to hide – I hate the lies, I hear the cries of all the lives they criticize while all they do is formalize and advertise how we should live and demonize the ones who try to ask them why. Why should I cover my eyes and take advice from all these guys who hate it when the people rise and reach for things they fantasize while spending all their time in ties telling us that they’re so wise but behind curtains womanize, destabilize, plagiarize and traumatize?

Look.

I don’t know if this writing thing will ever weave this thread a string. All I know, as theories go, is that there’s so much that we don’t know. Sure, I’m sure that if a show was something that I’d want to throw, I’d own the stage and make it known that what I say turns stop to go. Lighting fires – I live for this, and you what? I’d be remiss if I surrendered, gave the keys and lost my passion to the abyss. You think I’m hateful? Here’s a kiss. Im sorry if you think that this is something I do for the sys it’s not, I promise, look at this – my feelings all just reminisce.

There’s melancholy in this body, so much I hardly know what’s bliss. I’d take a guess but I confess that all my thoughts would be dismissed.

Where on Earth can I begin? Writing days and on weekend, every time I press the send my mind retreats to things I’ve penned. Words have taken hold on me, clutching every time I breathe. Owning every cry and plea and laying with me, comforting.

My mind’s the kind that can’t unwind it tries to see but knows it’s blind if God’s behind the mastermind who drew, outlined this humankind then sorry friend, his frame of mind was not aligned with what should be – I’m disinclined to get behind the too-refined for all my thoughts are unconfined.

That is to say, to Who I pray – I will not give my thoughts away. I will not let my heart betray the things which I have pledged to say. There’s too much I need to convey.

This mind is Arthur – they’re Le Fey.

My Sacred Psalm

You want to know what stands between

The things they write, and what I mean?

Not one word have I wrote and thought

I hope this is something they bought

The words I write aren’t things to sell

They’re all just stories that I tell

Art is not a craft of number

Art is lightning, sometimes thunder

Don’t confuse these words of mine

With those who write to clock their time

I do not care for seed or sow

These pages are my mind’s chateau

They hold my thoughts and all my pleas

And bottle all my memories

If I pulled out this cork and screw

This world would not know what to do

Repent I must, this mind of mine

It torments me all of the time

Pause a moment, breathe, and calm

In this ink; my sacred psalm

Life’s True Journey

Calm yourself, come closer, near

For there’s a sound that I wish you to hear

Close your pretty eyes, love, and just try to listen in

Yes, I see you grinning to the tune of violin

Lay down the things around you

All the weight those shoulder’s bear

Step into my room, love

Shut out every single care

There is no world around us

Only you and me, tonight

And that’s how it will be, dear

Until the morning’s first daylight

Shed your inhibitions

There’s no cause for fright or fear

Relax, let go of life

Think of only what’s in here

Seize this window, as it calls

For life, it’s far too brief

It’s not about the race, you see

It’s love for every leaf

Know what truly matters, love

Put down the plate and knife

Take my hand and join me

Help me walk this path of life

Remember Me

**DISCLAIMER**

This poem addresses suicide. By reading any further, you acknowledge that this artwork does not promote suicide in any way, and is only meant as a creative endeavor.

—————————–

I write this, love, only for you. I want you to feel how I do. So many things have coursed my mind, never spoken, nor defined.

All the things I used to feel, I fear that they’re no longer real.

The soft caress of gentle breeze. The soothing whispers of the trees. The kiss of sun rays on my skin, and all the joys I felt within.

Why is it now so hard for me to see the things I used to see? I do not know what changed in me. I can’t decide what I believe. I don’t know if what I achieve will ever matter, or if I’m lost, and just naïve.

I don’t know if there is a soul that fills this empty, saddened hole.

I think about this, all the time. I can’t make reason, out of rhyme. I fear I’ve lost the will to live, for I’ve no more that I can give.

I see things, love. I watch, you know. I feel the harm that people sow. I witness all the things that they do turning blue skies into gray.

There’s one thing you must understand. You lifted me, with just your hand. Each time our fingers locked as one, my heart would race. My heart would run.

I’ve only one request, you see. I hope you find love, and live free. When walking through these whispering trees, please stop, admire all the leaves. Feel the gentle winds and breeze, and put your racing mind at ease. Love who you have come to be, and please, my love.

Remember me.

Brothers in Arms

You ask me, why spend life so bottled in?

Why not go out, enjoy the world?

I’ll tell you love, here, come right in

But first let me untie what’s curled

Sometimes we want to get away

Forgetting what we saw

Others, they just prance and play

Not knowing how we’ll someday fall

What year did we decide was right?

What point as freedom calls?

There is no glory in this fight

But blood will paint it’s walls

There is a silence, among men

That doesn’t speak a word

Instead they stand there, brother, friend

And nothing can be heard

It’s out there, yes, it’s out there so

If we could only reconcile

Remember us, who fought, you know

Who walked with you, all of the while

Sincerely Signed

Listen, please. I must know how. I have so much to say right now. My mind is tearing me from Thou and begging me to disavow. Is this something I should allow? I need to know right here, and now. I’ve every reason not to fall yet here I stand before and bow.

Why won’t you sit and talk with me? Why won’t you show yourself to me? I question how this came to be and I need answers, desperately.

Nights are always worse than day. There is nowhere to get away. Trapped inside these shades of gray, tormented by the things I pray.

There is no stopping damage done. Not with a book, nor with a gun. Painful thoughts each way I look, and painful mem’ries, every one.

Don’t abandon me, my friend. I can’t go through this hurt again. Don’t tell me it’s not if, but when.

Sincerely signed, with heartbreak’s pen.

Fly Away

If you saw her true interior

Past the toughened, hard exterior

Saw the sadness and the fear in her

Youd’ve never said those things

Every day she stays devout

And keeps her calm as you just shout

Of things you know nothing about

Blinded by the hate it brings

Granted taken, you have done

Oblivious that she’s the one

Who raised your daughter, and your son

As you tied the same old strings

Never knowing why or how

So holier, she was than thou

Your every sin, she did allow

While treating you like lords and kings

Ignorance is bliss, they say

But one day she’ll leave you away

She’ll see that there’s no cause to stay

And fine’ly, grow her wings

My Idols

My closest friends, they’re here, I know

Em, and Fitz, and Frost, and Poe

They do not sit and dine with me

They reside in my mind, you see

 

We write, we wonder, work and play

We converse every single day

Whispers in the wind and skies

The glint that’s deep inside my eyes

 

Sharing thoughts we think at night

While embers are our only light

A pipe rests by the candlestick

As all that’s heard is the clock tick

 

I never thought I’d weather storms where rhythm changes with the chords

But thankfully these friends with me have given me the strongest boards

 

We built a ship, we hung a mast

I brought them here from long since past

They guide me through the thick and fog

This boat they built with hist’rys log

 

We know our worth, our every lot

Though those we know today do not

Words will drift into the sky

Until they’re read after we die

 

And that’s the way, as poets go

To answer why, I do not know

Sometimes I think the world won’t want

To let someone increase their font

 

And so we wait until they’re gone

And then we auction art they’re on

Using their name, like we knew

This whole time they were genius, too

 

But if the real reason, you ask

I’ll tell you, look at that there flask

These people never cared, its true

They waited, so they could sell you

 

I tell you now, I know the game

And I will not fall to its name

I will break through and I will claim

The thing that we all sought, not fame

 

That might surprise you, but it shan’t

For I shall do what others can’t

Yet now it remains mystery

But pay mind to your history

 

Forces flee when moves are made

And there is not one barricade

That can stop what is to come

For starts have started, what’s done is done

 

Paths are set, the time is near

And when you think we’ve disappeared

Hold your helm, these waters wave

Consuming every nook and cave

 

There are those who sit behind

Just idling, and buying time

Knowing that what’s next is ours

When we topple all the powers

 

Rome was risen, not in a day

But mold the minds of us, I say

We will conquer, we will shout

Knowing what life’s all about

 

Your King is down, his mate I checked

While thinking of what world comes next

Simply giving answers to

The questions asked of me and you

 

Love thy neighbor, it’s not hard

Even if your past is scarred

Accept the things that we all do

I forgive me. Now forgive you.

 

Life is not who’s better than

Life is cherished, when we can

Look deeply in your soul tonight

And ask yourself, do I live right?

Is It Her Or Is It Me?

I know I’m diff’rent, I’m weird alright?

But you don’t seem to mind tonight

Just relax and listen to

The things, this eve, we’re gonna do

I’ll pick you up at half past six

Your hairs so fine the way it’s fixed

Then to dinner we shall ride, music low, you by my side

Valet parking, toss the keys

You don that blouse so elegantly

Tables waiting, just for two, my every thought consumed by you

Drinks are served, this smooth rosé

‘Tis better than their Chardonnay

Pour a glass for you and me, she looks so lovely, doesn’t she?

Skin so soft, like caramel

Where are we now? It’s hard to tell

All that I can think is her, my every other thoughts a blur

Then the server brings dessert

Sweet as her legs are in that skirt

Hands are helpless, wandering

As my mind is pondering

In the car, our date concludes

She says she needs help with her shoes

All these strings are tied about, come untie them, help me out

With a grin I do oblige

Holding hands, walking inside

Spend the evening intertwined, with this girl who’s owned my mind

Stroke her hair as sun arises

My hearts not used to surprises

But I can’t ignore chemistry, is it her? Or is it me?

Facts Are Few

Facts are few, but they just may

Be everything we talk today

Your word. His word. Her word. Theirs.

No one seems to understand the realness of current affairs

Logic is illogical when numbers mean nothing no more

All that matters is the playbook that they carry to the floor

It’s funny, right? Cause here, tonight

We’ll sit here as these drinks we pour

Watching wasteful Washington while they decide what to explore

Get it I don’t, but the message is clear

The hatred’s infectious, one direction to steer

I don’t know why they won’t let the guy just finish things he sought to do

The parchment that defined our world was written for us, me and you

I pray that some day we’ll acknowledge all the things we came here for

Living life how we’re supposed to without all the need for war

I digress, it’s hope I guess, that’s what we want in our core

But sadly battles, still un-rattled, seem to bloody this white floor

Cooperation

Are you real? No, are you real?

Are you the things you say you feel?

Are you the things you talk about

Or are you just another spout

Fountains flowing, they look nice, but if you shook and rolled the dice, would you be the same person if I looked once when I looked twice? Faking life yeah, it’s a vice, but let me give you some advice. Take all of these personalities and make them more concise.

No one likes to look at something they can’t make an image of. Don’t portray the things we play, just wear what fits you like a glove. If you do they’ll know you’re true and you won’t have to act above. Life is so much easier when push does not become a shove.

Words are wisdom, yes it’s true

So how does it apply to you?

I’m despising advertising, such a wicked game they play. Thinking they control the minds of people that they sell today. Money talks, we know it walks, but there’s so much else to convey. If we understood what matters they’d be worthless with no pay.

Power is given, it never is earned

Powers provided by people unlearned

You are the confidant, you are the doubt

You are the one they’re all talking about

You hold their outcome, their relevance too

They’re only significant because of you

Take back your power, take back your fight

Take back the things that you know are what’s right

Nothings accomplished with one idle hand

So come, join together, we can all make a stand

Behind These Eyes

Write it down, what it may be. Just tell me what you want from me. I gave my heart, I give my soul. So why am I left with this hole?

Is this what I have fought and earned, or is it that I haven’t learned? Is this nightmare what I dreamed, this love that’s not how it all seemed?

My eyes, they’re clouded by these veils. I ask, were they just fairy tales? Stories written just to keep the tears from falling as we weep

I wish that I could just believe that love is there within my reach. So why do I continue to keep asking Him what I should do?

There’s sadness in these eyes of mine. I ask, so often, for a sign. A thing that I can hold at last – to look ahead, not at the past

I know she’d say, my mother, Liz, “She’s out there son, I know she is. She might be half a world away, or maybe you know her today.”

I cannot play this modern game, to find someone and share a name. I long for love I know won’t end. I long for love…my one true friend.

Diary of a Philosopher: 1

The future is funny, don’t you think?

Not in a literal sense, I mean. I’m just saying that in general. After all, no one really knows what’s going to happen before it happens, right? Sure, we can try and predict things…but after it’s all said and done, it will always be fate who decides how the cookie crumbles. All we can do is try and convince the cookie that it should crumble the way we want it to.

“Control the controllable,” that’s what Gram used to say.

Oh, Gram. How dearly do I envy the world you lived in. A time before all this hustle and bustle. When all that folks cared about was whether or not the family they were raising had enough grain for the season and if the sow in the barn was ripe for eatin’, having tended to its old life’s last litter. The stories you tell make my mind wander every which way, wondering if I’ll ever get to live in a world like that.

It’s kind of disheartening, you know? To spend almost every waking moment trying to figure out what bills have been paid and which ones haven’t, and whether or not I’m going to have some collector call me about something I forgot to pay fifteen thousand years ago. I exaggerate, of course, but I know you know what I mean.

I just wish we could redo it all. Start from the ground up, no? Craft a world where people actually care about stuff they should care about, rather than all this mumbo jumbo we’ve been trained to value. It’s sad, really. It’s like we somehow just let the bad guys win, watching our kids and peers from the sidelines as they’re taught that the type of logo on someone’s shirt somehow determines the quality of person they are. I just don’t get how we made it here. And I even more don’t get how it happened right in front of our eyes, but somehow still managed to become the commonly accepted way of conducting oneself. Why do we constantly judge each other based upon these things? Ugh. I digress.

But it makes me wonder…does it even matter who we are? Good or bad, I mean. Because I won’t lie to you, trusted journal…it definitely seems like no one really cares what type of person you are, as long as you have the ability to give people stuff that they otherwise wouldn’t be able to acquire.

So what is it? What actually is the meaning that we all desperately search for? Are we all just supposed to fall in line, accepting the fact that a persons monetary value is directly correlated with their intrinsic value?

Personally, I want to say no. But sometimes this world makes me think otherwise.

Sometimes, I’ll lay down on my back porch, just looking at the stars. I used to try and count them, but I eventually realized that it didn’t matter how many of them there were. All that matters is that they’re up there, looking back down at me, and that someone, somewhere, is probably asking themselves that same question. You know…in some kind of alien language.

What makes a person a “good” person?

And that’s just it, isn’t it? Aren’t we supposed to try and figure this stuff out? Or are we supposed to just skirt by in life, blissfully ignorant to the grander question of what defines us?

I don’t know. Really…I don’t. Maybe there’s no right answer to that, and that this finite life should just be appreciated for what it is. Perhaps the irony is in worrying about it, because all it does is (most likely) shorten our time here.

Stress is a real problem, indeed.

Communicate

Ravens speak darkness while Frost speaks of snow

But tormented minds share a likeness, you know

Rather than rhythm repeating tempo

I’ll ink what I think as the rules I let go

Words are not wisdom they’re just thoughts that we think

And letters are naught but concepts that you shrink

Shrink into something that conveys a wink

Or some other thing that makes minds start to sync

Language, invented, is a thing that as we

Have all come together and seem to agree

That “this” can mean “that” and that “him” can mean “he”

Or “she” could mean “you” and the person you’ll be

All that we know was created by one

One single person who first said “I’m done”

Done with the guessing, who said “It’s begun,

Beginning today, ‘tis where we are from”

Their tribe founded reason, and logic, indeed

From then to forever, these words we now heed

And so twas’ the birth of this language we read

To finally find all these words that we need

If letters and numbers, or words din’t exist

Then chaos would still reign so high in our midst

Alas, we can speak now, our lips have been kissed

If not for this language, our thoughts would be missed

Darkness

In darkness these thoughts have made into their place

They’ve stolen my mind and hold it in embrace

After the curtains fall there’s a new face

That torments and consumes my every thoughts’ space

This strength is a weakness, it follows me so

It’s grip only tightens when asked to let go

Constantly clawing, as if my shadow

And nothing I do can restrain it, I know

So sorely I long to be rid of my fate

For the burdens I bear seem to be far too much weight

Twisting and turning, I wish they’d stay straight

For solace I’m searching, for calm I await

In darkness these thoughts have made into their place

And there’s nothing to stop it from starting to race

Stop. I sincerely want one day of grace

Stop. There’s only so much I can face

For Better or Worse

Sitting in solitude, lonely, I know

Glancing and gazing out of this window

I wish that the hands of this clock would move slow

But everyone seems to have somewhere to go

Why must every journey turn into a race

Why do we seem always have something to chase

Spending life sprinting and quickening the pace

When we could instead make the most of our place

Donning these things that we don’t even need

So we can catch up, get ourselves up to speed

Is it all vanity, is it all greed

Or is it the way we’ve been taught to succeed

Think of your values, what things do you want

Are they sincere or just things you can flaunt

Words are all words, no matter the font

Their meanings don’t change be you poor, debutante

New Beginnings

Some things are wanted

Some things are earned

Some things are instinct

Some things are learned

No one is born

With silver in hand

They may think they do

But don’t own their land

Life, it’s a battle

Fought by warriors, for ground

No parcel is given

No acre is found

Nothing is owed in this journey we’re on

And kings can be toppled by anyone’s pawn

Pride, it dost come ‘fore the vain who will fall

As no one escapes a true reckoning call

Righteousness might be the flag that you bear

But everyone knows there’s no substance in there

Vanity’s victim, though maybe you’d care

If only your mirror made you self-aware

But that’s how it goes

This story I tell

And those who preceded

Knew all too well

Nothing they said would be thought of until

Their bones had been buried, and yet even still

So many things they wrote ended up true

And yet here we are, still saying “well you”

Nobody gets that the issues within

For nobody wants to admit that they sin

We live and we laugh in a world; make- believe

Then we still wonder why we can’t achieve

Achieve all the things which we claim that we want

Ironically by our own ghost are we haunt

Truth is not easy, such burden to bear

Yet in its embrace we’d see how much we share

Some things are wanted

Some things are earned

It’s time that we listen

And forget what we’ve learned

Vanity

Fame is not what it once was

It did not do what it now does

The days of old are gone at last

For that which was has long since passed

Those who seek its key and door

Do not know what they’re fighting for

Expecting glee, they rush inside

And loneliness is all they find

They dream of being on a stage

But empty inkwells pen no page

An audience can not do good

If there’s no message understood

Long ago, we fought for pride

Yet now we all know, deep inside

That those who chase for naught but me

Seek nothing more than vanity

Sinless Stone

All these people, all these poses

Looking through a lens of roses

Spinning, swirling, they’re all dancing

It’s their minds they are romancing

We all go out, play the game

At night we know we’re all the same

Doing things we say we don’t

And then pretend and say we won’t

Yet you and I both know the truth

So step in my confession booth

Tell me things you want to say

That might make your guilt go away

Tell me what things that you hold

Deep inside your lonely soul

Then I’ll tell you all of mine

As we both see we’re the same kind

That there’s nothing we should fear

And guards should vanish; disappear

For all who live will commit sin

It’s how things work, this world were in

Next time a finger points at you

I say, this is what you should do

Get them in a room, alone

And show them this here Sinless Stone

The Most Important Thing I’ve Ever Written

Something’s happening, and a lot of people aren’t realizing it. They can feel it, sure; but they aren’t quite able to put their finger on the sensation that they’re experiencing. So let me try to do it for you. I’m going to describe the phenomenon to which I refer in one, concise, statement:

Your consciousness is becoming one with everyone else’s.

I know. Sounds crazy, dunnit? But if you truly absorb what I’m attempting to articulate at the moment, you will realize that I’m being deadly serious. So before you dismiss this as the random bantering of a metaphorical space cadet, please allow me to explain.

Much of what I’m about to tell you is going to sound absurd. That word is emboldened to try and illustrate the fact that just because something sounds crazy to you – doesn’t mean it’s crazy. Because again, I’m fully aware that this will, at first glance, sound nuts. So we need to acknowledge that before we get into this. That way, hopefully you’ll (paradoxically) see that since I understand that, you’ll have an easier time empathizing and realizing that what I am saying is not, in fact, absurd.

Basically, if I’m normal enough to acknowledge how bizarre this is going to sound…then surely I must be grounded enough to deserve at least a small handful of sane credibility.

Phew.

Back to the topic at hand. The first thing I want to address can be summarized by a simple question.

Who are you?

A mundane, rudimentary query, I know. But seriously…think about it. Who are you? What does it mean for you to be reading these very words right now; to have the ability to discern what thoughts, ideas, and concepts are going through my mind at this very moment? In other words…

What does it mean to exist?

Well, I’ve put a lot of thought into that question. A hell of a lot more than most people probably do, if I may say so myself. And to be frank, the only answer I find myself able to come up with is that I have absolutely no clue, whatsoever, what it means to exist – but I’ll be damned if that doesn’t stop me from trying to figure it out.

Which brings me back, again, to my point.

Considering the fact that I’ve begun this process by acknowledging the possibility that I’m nothing more than a speculative ignoramus, I can come to only one conclusion to that question. And it’s quite simple.

We are our thoughts.

What do I mean by that (sorry if that was anti-climatic)? Well, I’m glad you asked, because I’m going to try my best to elaborate. You see, humans (and the human conditions which afflict us all) are enormously complex vessels. We’re born, naturally, with a kagillion unique characteristics that enable us to self-identify. That is to say, we’re all special (not rolling my eyes, I promise). This is a point with which I doubt anyone will take issue. We’re all unique, are we not?

And yet, if you really sit down and think about it…we’re all the same. We all go through good times, hard times, embarrassing times, and proud times, no? Truthfully, the only things separating any of us from each other are the exclusive-to-our-own-plight-in-life situations, which to be perfectly frank, we all have to deal with. Considering that, they really shouldn’t matter in terms of validating ourselves to other people (since that’s what we want, right?)

Ahem.

So, back to the point (for the third time now, I think? I’m not keeping score, I’m sorry). If we are to examine, closely, the things I’ve mentioned in this wall of words above, it shouldn’t take very long to discern the fact that everyone, ever, has shit going on in their lives with which other people can (with an almost eerie sense of congruence) relate. It could be money problems, career problems, familial/marital problems, the-neighbors-dog-shat-on-my-recent-and-meticulously-manicured-lawn problems…you get the point.

We’re all going through shit.

And that’s just it. I’m fairly certain that all of you reading this has recognized, in one way or the other, that literally everyone on the planet has an imperfect life. And we’re beginning to wake up to that coffee-smelling fact. It doesn’t matter what walk of life you find yourself tiptoeing over…there will always be actual millions of people who are sharing your exact same struggles. The challenge is simply to find them, and to be open enough with each other that you both mutually understand that by judging someone based upon the transgressions, misguidances, and otherwise misfortunes of a person’s past is the quickest ticket to a life of loneliness & obscurity ever.

And that’s exactly what I mean when I say our consciences is slowly becoming one. We’re beginning to understand and empathize with each other, because we’re seeing all of these things people have been going through via social media and the internet. The ability to share thoughts and ideas en masse, like we can now, is without a doubt the most game-changing component of societal congruence the Earth has ever seen.

So allow me to share a toast to the human condition, and everything else that we’re fortunate enough to experience together in this once-in-a-billion-years era of time.

Because without a lot of you guys…I’d still be thinking I’m alone in the world.