How the World Should Work

Alright.

I’m going to try and articulate this as best I can without offending anyone, because this is real talk here.

How do men view women? From platonic friend to lustful lover to side girlfriend to cherished wife, I’m going to attempt to tackle this subject from the realest of perspectives and leave out the political correctness.

Basically, men display a pretty wide variance of perspectives when it comes to how we perceive women. We generally have a neat categorical box in which we can file our different types of relationships. You’ve got your motherly figures, your friend zoners, your best friend that you’re sort of attracted to, the lustful knockout, your soul mate,  the “she’s like a sister to me”, and so on. Keep in mind I’m speaking in generalities here – these aren’t necessarily my personal views, I’m speaking for men in general. And as in all my posts, this is based solely upon intuition, observation, and logic – I don’t necessarily have any scientific evidence to back this up, so bear with me.

Men interpret women in vastly diverse contexts depending on the nature of the relationship. This is common knowledge, yes. But first I’d like to focus on the foundational element that dictates how we develop whatever tendencies we end up with later in life.

First of all, I think the most important component when shaping a man’s perception of women is that of the mother. If we males have a solid mother figure in our life, we end up respecting women more. Its that simple. This is the case because we have a benchmark, or a standard, to follow. A strong, compassionate mother will inevitably raise her children to be respectful. Its a basic psychological concept, really. Men who have great moms end up respecting women more simply because they have a reference to fall upon. I know how I’d want my Mom to be treated, therefore I can replicate that behavior for a girlfriend, wife, etc.

This is one reason (I imagine) why parenting can be such a challenge. Much of a person’s psychological makeup is created during their adolescence, and the manner in which they perceive the world is shaped during those early years. So there is a lot at stake when raising kids – in terms of how parents interact not only with their children, but each other. The behaviors of parents are observed throughout a child’s life and oftentimes mimicked.

But enough of the psychology stuff. Mothers are important, we all know that. What about young adulthood, when life is faster paced and unpredictable? How do we view women then?

Unfortunately, its hard to argue the fact that much of popular culture these days teaches the objectification of women, promoting the “love em and leave em” mentality. In many cases, a man’s ability to seal the deal with women becomes the metric of his masculinity.

I think that’s a big issue we face today. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not criticizing people who are open to the hookup culture. People should do what makes them happy. If you enjoy the temporary attention you get from an attractive guy that wants nothing more than to enjoy a night full of Netflix and chilling, then have at it. In no way am I opposed to some satisfaction here and there if that’s your thing.

But in a world where we constantly hear how men are pigs, I’d like to offer a simple solution. There is ONE characteristic a girl should look for in a man (for those looking for a more permanent mate). That characteristic is respect. This has to do with that foundational development I was talking about earlier. Its the high level, over-arching perspective of how we view women in general. Either we view them as loving, human partners, or we view them as objects which we can dominate. At the end of the day, its that simple: does this guy look at me as an equal that’s sharing their life with him, or as property? Because ultimately, that’s what a good relationship is – you don’t necessarily give your lives to each other. You share your lives with each other. Maintaining individuality is important, and truly compassionate couples understand this.

I suppose the lingering motif of this post is this: guys should respect girls. Treat them with the compassion you would show towards your sister or mother.

And above all, just be a good dude.