The Lenghornian Revolt: pt. 8


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Quietly tiptoeing through the catacombs deep below the Tower of Management, Mike, the Tender of Bars makes his way toward the chamber that houses the Chains of Meaningless Rules. Knowing that his enemies secret weapon Matt might pop out at any moment, he keeps his head on a swivel as he makes his descent.

“Quiet!” He hears, turning around to see who has followed him. “Don’t alarm the guards.”

Creeping through a small hole in the stone wall beside him, Austin, the cute but mysteriously quiet and reserved mouse trails behind Mike.

“Austin!” Mike whispers. “You shouldn’t have come! This is a dangerous quest I have undertaken.”

“But alas,” the mouse says, “I couldn’t allow you to fight Matt alone! I feel inclined to support you!”

“So be it.” Mike sighs. “Come, follow me.” He adds, unsheathing the Blade of Side Work. Continuing to tiptoe down the hall, they finally make it to the large chamber that holds the Chains of Meaningless Rules. They are massive, with each chain link equaling about the size of the overweight patrons who drink far too much sweet tea.

“Wow.” Austin says, creeping up to the gigantic chains.

“WHO GOES THERE?!?!” An annoying voice shrieks. “How dare you approach the Chains of Meaningless Rules!! You must do as you are told without question!” Matt shouts, leaping down from above with a massive bread board to swat away the meaningless peasants.

“Yah!” He shouts, wafting the bread board before them.

“Nay!” Mike screams, with Austin on his shoulder. “We will submit to your treachery no longer!!” He adds, shoving the Blade of Side Work into Matt’s small, bubbly butt.

“NOOOOOO!!!!!” Matt shrieks. “Side work!!!! How did you knowahhhhhhhhhh!!!” He cries as his spirit leaves his body, drifting into the abyss that is the Veil.

“Huzzah!” Austin cheers. “Now we can wash the Chains away with the Golden Towell of Cleanliness!!”

“Aye.” Mike declares, applying the Towell liberally. “May these Chains never restrict our companions again!” He adds, trying to discard the towel but not making it into the basket, leaving it on the floor.

“Come. We must return to the surface to join the others and inform them of our victory.” He says.

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