The Lenghornian Revolt: pt 9




In the confines of the Tower of Management’s Walls, the fray between the servers and the brainless cooks comes to a head. Despite losing many of their comrades, the servers have persevered through the fight as if they’ve been triple seated whilst simultaneously serving a party of twelve.

Knowing they are nearing the end, Bernard the Knight gallops forward atop Jessica N, the strongest steed.

“Follow me!” He screams, his face bloodied with the creamy sauce of a hundred ramekins of extra ranch. As the Lenghornians scale the Tower, they finally corner the district manager as they step out onto the rooftop.

“Surrender!” Bernard shouts, pointing his blade of Steak Knives at him.

“Never!” The district manager yells, pulling a paper from within his robe. “Feast your eyes upon the legendary Scroll of HR Conflict Resolution! Your feeble attempts to oust me have failed! For this scroll grants me immunity from being punished for any wrongdoings! MUAHAHA!!”

“No!” Bernard yells. “But the prophecies foretold our victory!”

“Your prophecies are as worthless as your customers’ expired Christmas coupons!” The district manager exclaims, covering Bernard with the Scroll of HR Conflict Resolution, watching him disappear into the veil.

“NOOOOOO!” The Lenghornians shout in dismay. “You killed our leader! NOOOOO!!!!!” They continue to cry.

“Wait!” A voice from behind bellows. “Behold! We have broken the Chains of Meaningless Rules!”

Sure enough, as the prophecies foretold, Mike, the Tender of Bars appears on the rooftop, his apron armor gleaming in the sun.

“Your Scroll no longer wields its power! I henceforth wash away ALL meaningless rules from the realm, and liberate my fellow servers from your oppressive rule! Lenghornians!” He shouts. “Apply the dust of prairies!”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” The district manager screams, as all of the Lenghornians circle around him and sprinkle their Prairie Dust. “I…will…come…aghh…..” He mutters, as he slowly turns into a Chocolate Stampede, indicating the stampede of free reign and dawn of the new era.

“HUZZAH!!” The Lenghornians cheer. “Finally! We have broken free of our oppressors!” They all shout in unison.

“Now,” Mike says, “we must restructure our village. Henceforth, we will all be equal and free to serve as we see fit. Lenghornians,” he finishes. “UNITE!”

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