Never Satisfied

My biggest fear isn’t what I thought it’d be

It’s not the day of final rest, not the day I cease to be

It’s that my time alive isn’t spent the way it needs to be

That all I did was sit back and react to what’s been done to me

That’s not the path she laid before, not the path she paved, you see

Her lessons still resound within, under the umbrella tree

But sometimes when I sit here thinking what all lies ahead, I grieve

And wish instead I’d grew up, obtained what I used to believe

The life they taught me I should have, picket fences painted white

Ph.D, tenure and the other things they say are “right”

Then my thoughts drift back to her, and the talks we shared at night

As my focus fades into the place that it belongs, to write

Do the things in life that as a kid I’d always dreamt I’d do

Even though my father told me “go to school, just think it through”

There’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t give to have just one more day

To spend with her, to do the things we talked about, the things we’d say

All I am, all I’ll be, everything that I create

They’re all because of her and things she’d teach me when the night was late

As I look into this mirror, I know she’s here and hasn’t died

She lives through me and fuels my work – it’s why I’m never satisfied

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s