“YEEEEEHAW!” Driving crazily through the backwoods of a Tennessee highway, Joe and Carl are having the time of their lives in their ’91 Chevy S-10. “Built Ford tuff motha fuckas!!” Joe shouts out of the passenger window, can of Natty Ice in hand. “Joe, this here’s a damn Chev Ro Lay!” Carl asserts, punching his … More The Tiki Torches: 2
“‘Ay Carl!” “Wut?” “Ya think this in’ll work?” Strolling along the calamitous alleyways of the local Wal-Smart, Carl and Joe have a bit of difficulty deciding what torches to carry to their Klan march. Plop “There!” Joe shouts, proudly placing his newly acquired bug-deterrent torch in the basket, ready to check out. “Now just you … More The Tiki Torches: 1
Chapter 1 They’re so cute!” Looking into a giant glass terrarium at her small colony of pets within, a little girl tugs on her father’s sleeve to get his attention. “I know, dear. They’re very cute. Now get tucked in, it’s getting past your bedtime,” the father says. “But Daddy!” The little girl begs, peering … More For Better or Worse
IMPORTANT: HUMAN BEINGS ARE VOLATILE, DANGEROUS, AND EMOTIONALLY UNPREDICTABLE ***Handle with utmost caution. Do not allow these creatures outside of the included habitat*** Setting her instruction booklet aside, the little girl takes one final look at her “teenie-weenies”, before clearing the tank to make room for her next batch of creatures. “Sorry little guys!! I … More For Better or Worse (Ch 8)
“Ho hum ho hum deedeedee!” Joyfully skipping around her bedroom, the little girl is singing and humming to herself as her furry pigtails bounce around behind her. “Now, what are my teenie-weenies up to today?” She asks, skipping over to the terrarium. As she peers inside, she sees that her little creatures have erected an … More For Better or Worse (Ch 7)
Caution: Creatures may occasionally engage in physical conflict. It is important for the owner of the habitat to pay close attention to how your terrarium’s occupants are grouped. Indicators of impending conflict may include, but are not limited to: Two large groups of inhabitants facing one another in close proximity. Usually preceded by audible squealing … More For Better or Worse (Ch 6)
“Hidey hidey hoooo!!” Happily skipping over to the habitat on her table, the little girl in the bedroom is gleaming over the new cut she’s gotten for her fur. “Do you like my new bangs, teenie weenies?” She excitedly asks her pets. “I know you can’t understand me, but I bet you do! They’re very … More For Better or Worse (Ch 5)
“All better!” Pulling her arm from out of the tank, the little girl slides the lid back on her glass habitat after setting down the little newborn she’d taken out the night before. “Those nutrients will make you a super pet!” She shouts, watching the parents finally reconnect with their baby. “Anyway,” the girl says, … More For Better or Worse (Ch 4)
“Aw, yay!” The day after disposing the dead creature, the little girl is pleasantly surprised to see that two of her pets have had a baby. Standing over the dome with a wide grin on her face, she looks down at the two tiny creatures nurturing their teenie, fragile newborn. “Good job, you two! I … More For Better or Worse (Ch 3)
“Rise and shine, everyone!” Quickly pulling away the large veil covering the girl’s terrarium, she excitedly greets the occupants inside. “I bet you guys are hungry, aren’t you?” She asks matter-of-factly. Walking to the small closet in the corner of her room, she grabs a packet of food and a pale of water. “And … More For Better or Worse (Ch 2)
How the World Should Work 