Are those pillows to your liking? Since you’ve spread them everywhere? Are you packing to go hiking? You sure took time arranging, there I do not get it, little dude Why must you make a mess? To be frank, it’s kinda rude Can you not just chill and rest? All the blankets, all the throws … More Dog Tornado
What do you do when you’re faced with a curse? A fate that is worse than your death? A thing that can just be described as the worst A thing that is Baxter’s dog breath? I usually let him jump onto my lap It’s not a big deal, normally But when I wake up after … More Dog Breath
I’m wedded to Words, yes I’m smitten with love But like any such marriage, we fight Sometimes it gets tense, and push comes to shove As they shout, “Don’t give me your bullshit tonight!” Of course that’s unfair, Words just don’t understand Just like any ole husband or wife Its worked to the bone, this … More Editing Sucks (but Marriage is Great)
“Bites of the Round Bowl!! Please, lend me your ears.” Standing valiantly on the balcony of Cage Spamalot’s Keep, Grr Barker tells the entire Realm of the quest he will embark on, with no puns intended. “Realm!” He shouts, “I shall commission my bravest, most chivalrous Bites to accompany me on this epic quest! We … More The Ward & the Bone: 13
“Grr Barker, you’re up early.” Trotting aimlessly through the hedge maze outside of Cage Spamalot, Master Squirrelin spots the new King on a morning stroll. “Aye, Master. I found it difficult to slumber this morning. I am used to my princely duties, but now that I have inherited the Bone, I find that the responsibilities … More The Ward & the Bone: 12
All the things out there you see, they’re shining, glistening, calling thee. Why wait? Its there, right in front of you, all that needs to happen is for you to stand and do. Do, don’t wait, don’t put it off, you get one life and time, it costs. Please don’t let yours go to waste, … More What Are You Waiting For?
“Barker? He is King now?” Far to the East, Corgin Le Fey and her minions discuss the new events that have transpired throughout the Realm. “Yes, madam,” a rat-servant screetches, “there has been much change occurring throughout the lands. Grr Barker has ascended to the Bone, and now rules with his Bites of the Round … More The Ward & the Bone: 11
“LONG LIVE THE KING!” The Transition has come, and the night of festivities to celebrate Grr Barker’s ascension to the Bone is at hand. “At last, he is King!” Drunkenly swaying through a tavern full of the finest bitches, Grr Sleepsalot wafts his bowl of ale in the air. “To Grr Barker!!” He shouts as … More The Ward & the Bone: 10
The day after the sudden passing of Toother Mansbestfrienddragon, the Realm is on edge. The Realm was accustomed to Toother’s rule and guidance as King, but now they wait with gritted teeth in anticipation of what comes next. Who will inherit the Bone? Who will step up as the new leader of the Free Realm? … More The Ward & the Bone: 9
I sit here in silence, observing the fray They jump and they fly and they chirp and they play No notion of others, surroundings are clear They have no concern for the things that are near A troupe, all together, just having some fun Enjoying themselves now that rainfall has come A friendship? A family? … More The Bath of the Birds
The morning after Grr Barker’s cryptic meeting with The Lady of the Shake, he rises early to greet the new sun. Trotting over to the stone window overlooking his Kingdom, he squints his eyes as the light meets his emerald, green eyes. His thoughts bark the question of whether he is worthy of such a … More The Ward & the Bone: 8
After the seventh hour of the seventh day of the seventh month of the seventh year of the seventh century of the seventh Age, the brave Bite, Toother Mansbestfrienddragon, overcame his enemies. He led a valiant assault upon the entire Realm, ousting the Phelyons and their evil regime. This is common knowledge, and their story … More The Ward & the Bone: 7
The evening following their arrival to Cage Spamalot, The Lady of the Shake and her honorable Bites have settled into their guest quarters, much appreciating the fluffy, soft floor beds Grr Barker and his troupe has made available. As is customary, a Grand Feast is held in honor of the regal guests, with minstrels and … More The Ward & the Bone: 6
The morning following the magnificent feast of the finest soft foods, the Bites of the Round Bowl are beginning to wake up, clumsily trotting into the Breakfast Chamber where they are all fed the day’s first meal. As the last of their troupe, Grr Sleepsalot, finally enters the chamber, the soft sound of music can … More The Ward & the Bone: 5
Days after the Games, the valiant Prince Grr Barker, first in line for the Bone, parades around the halls of Cage Spamalot, the stone castle which the Bites of the Round Bowl call home. “I suppose you all witnessed my triumphant victory the other day?” The prince howls, his chest puffed out in pride. “Aye, … More The Ward & the Bone: 4
The Ward & the Bone 3 Far to the East the sinister Phelyon sorceress Corgin Le Fay, one of the last survivors of her species, storms through the halls of her crumbling keep, Cage Dryfude. “JESTER! Bring me wine, right MEOW!” the Phelyon shrieks, pointing her razor-sharp claw toward the empty bowl by her decaying … More The Ward & the Bone: 3
Grr Barker “Grr Barker! You have forgotten your vest-piece!” As the gigantic crowd gathering around the fairgrounds sits in anticipation of the Games, the magic-wielding mentor of Grr Barker, heir to the Bone, chases after the daring Prince holding a Leash of Armor in his hand. “Fear not, Squirrelin!” Grr Barker shouts back as he … More The Ward & the Bone: 2
The Beginning Lo, verily, and behold. It was the seventh hour of the seventh day of the seventh month of the seventh year of the seventh century of the seventh Age; the Bone Age. For so long had the Realm been ruled by the monsters of yesteryear. Those snide, cunningly demonic oppressors who could see … More The Ward and the Bone: 1
There is but one thing that I wish That way back then, I’d bought a fish Let me explain, it wont take long: They know which species they belong My purpose for this poem, I’ve used Is just to rant, for I’m confused I could’ve sworn I bought a dog As time goes on, it … More My Dog, the Cat
Oftentimes, I’ll look to see The person looking back at me Watching through a hazy lens At who that strange reflection is Staring forward, several blinks Is he the person that he thinks? Does he do the things he speaks? Is practice coming from the preach? My eyes still glare, this man ahead … More Don’t Wait
How the World Should Work 