What do you do when you’re faced with a curse?
A fate that is worse than your death?
A thing that can just be described as the worst
A thing that is Baxter’s dog breath?
I usually let him jump onto my lap
It’s not a big deal, normally
But when I wake up after taking a nap
He tends to come walk over me
He’ll stand on my chest and look into my eye
As if to say “time to get up”
And then he will yawn and make me want to die
As I gag and say “close your mouth, pup”
It’s really not funny, because when he yawns
It’s like he’s exhaling his guts
His breath smells like what he ate from dusk to dawn
And what’s more, he’ll stand on my nuts
So I must say, as I lie here today
Typing and scribbling words
Buy a dog bed, so when you hit the hay
You’ll wake up, and only hear birds