I sleep over here; I sleep over thereYou tell me sleep where? I really don’t careI place paws on your mouth as I snooze on your lapBe silent, my servant! It’s time for my nap We both know you need me to keep yourself wholeSo stop your complaining and fill my food bowlOh. While you’re … More Kneel in Reverence, For I Am A Generous Dog
It’s been awhile Yes awhile Since I wrote a poem But that’s because Yes it’s because I haven’t been alone I got a dog And like a frog I jumped into a thing And now free time Has been declined For Pips a pong to ping I made that up Just like her sup The … More Okay Back, Honeymoon’s Over
Hello pretty Pip! I think its time I wrote a pweem So although my friends all know ‘twas coming This won’t be as it seems Never mind, okay I lied That’s exactly what this is It’s just a pweem, with glamour, gleam Were she a drink, she’s fizz Welcome to the world, my girl … More Hello, Pip!
Sitting there atop the couch, gazing out for half the day Waiting for the sight of me, the sound of gravel Pulling into my driveway All the barking, loud commotion I hear him as I’m getting out Open doors bring so much motion, as he runs and spins about Hopping up onto my knees, its … More The Little Things
Mr. Baxter, he loves his life So much so, he took a knife Looked down at his abdomen And said “Know what? Screw this, I’m in” I looked at him, puzzled of course Because I’m fairly sure discourse Is capable among we men Not dogs, you know? Only humans So after getting over that I … More Place Your Vet
Majestic Mr Baxter He’s back, and don’t you know His paws, they hide in this car ride As he waits to steal the show See, we’ve discussed how we must trust This pup, for up is down And backwards god is dog, I say When written in this town Some may scoff, but they’re just … More I Heard That!
Cast in iron, set in stone, my thoughts are never left alone. They sail with me and set me free, living in my every bone. My Ship, it sails, its Mast prevails, catching headwinds, telling tales. But then my Sub sinks down below, and dives through waters, lesser known. Deep currents are so strong and … More My Sub: USS Conscience
I sleep over here, I sleep over there You say don’t sleep where? Wait I really don’t care I’ll cover your mouth as I sleep on your lap So you can shutup while I take my nap You know that you need me to keep yourself whole So stop your complaining and fill up my … More Dogs Have Better Game
I told him to sit down and wait, so I could get my shoestrings tied I told him it would be one moment until I let him outside As I look back what does he do? Decides to be a bad, bad dog I know I raised no lumberjack, but still he drops a big … More Baxident
A Waste of Time How often do we fall for things that people say and do? How often do we wonder if the things they say are true? And when there’s doubt we call them out when stories don’t connect I wish I had a dollar for each lie that we collect What makes us … More A Waste of Time
Are those pillows to your liking? Since you’ve spread them everywhere? Are you packing to go hiking? You sure took time arranging, there I do not get it, little dude Why must you make a mess? To be frank, it’s kinda rude Can you not just chill and rest? All the blankets, all the throws … More Dog Tornado
What do you do when you’re faced with a curse? A fate that is worse than your death? A thing that can just be described as the worst A thing that is Baxter’s dog breath? I usually let him jump onto my lap It’s not a big deal, normally But when I wake up after … More Dog Breath
Since all I ever do is sleep, a new word I shall give Replace each word with “sleep” I will, instead of “life” or “live” We do not have much time to waste, my point, do not contort So sleep each day as if your last, because our sleep is short I hate it when … More Sleepenstein
If you were to ask “What’s he good at now, Matt?” I would tell you that there is one thing If you were to ask “Does it make him look fat?” I would say “Really? Just look at the thing.” For of all of the things we can do in this world He basically cares … More Sleepster
I start and I end with a shower, all nude Turned on is the water, so set is the mood I put on my old socks, ever so slowly I should take them to church cause my socks are so holy But before this day starts, I must say that this chap Shall first drop … More No Pun Intended
“Bites of the Round Bowl!! Please, lend me your ears.” Standing valiantly on the balcony of Cage Spamalot’s Keep, Grr Barker tells the entire Realm of the quest he will embark on, with no puns intended. “Realm!” He shouts, “I shall commission my bravest, most chivalrous Bites to accompany me on this epic quest! We … More The Ward & the Bone: 13
Sweaty brow, aching back, home packed lunch and the sleepless nights That’s how things were done when people worked, reaching up for higher heights Dirt and grit, skin and bone, not a moment thrown into the waste Men would own up to the challenge, no obstacle they wouldn’t face Things got done, cities built, on … More Hide & Seek
“Grr Barker, you’re up early.” Trotting aimlessly through the hedge maze outside of Cage Spamalot, Master Squirrelin spots the new King on a morning stroll. “Aye, Master. I found it difficult to slumber this morning. I am used to my princely duties, but now that I have inherited the Bone, I find that the responsibilities … More The Ward & the Bone: 12
All the things out there you see, they’re shining, glistening, calling thee. Why wait? Its there, right in front of you, all that needs to happen is for you to stand and do. Do, don’t wait, don’t put it off, you get one life and time, it costs. Please don’t let yours go to waste, … More What Are You Waiting For?
“Barker? He is King now?” Far to the East, Corgin Le Fey and her minions discuss the new events that have transpired throughout the Realm. “Yes, madam,” a rat-servant screetches, “there has been much change occurring throughout the lands. Grr Barker has ascended to the Bone, and now rules with his Bites of the Round … More The Ward & the Bone: 11
How the World Should Work 