How the World Should Work

I told him to sit down and wait, so I could get my shoestrings tied

I told him it would be one moment until I let him outside

As I look back what does he do? Decides to be a bad, bad dog

I know I raised no lumberjack, but still he drops a big ‘ole log

What part of “wait I’ll be right there” did your dog brain not understand?

Do you really think I want to pick this piece of poop up with my hand?

It isn’t funny, it’s really not, the warmth felt through the paper towel

It should be you that cleans this poo but you sit just there, bark and howl

Don’t look at me like you don’t know exactly what mistake you made

I swear if you were in dog school you wouldn’t pass damn dog first grade

So listen up you bratty pup, if you still want the snacks I sent

You better clean your act right up, and make this your last accident