Mr. Baxter, he loves his life
So much so, he took a knife
Looked down at his abdomen
And said “Know what? Screw this, I’m in”
I looked at him, puzzled of course
Because I’m fairly sure discourse
Is capable among we men
Not dogs, you know? Only humans
So after getting over that
I blinked my eyes, and he said “Matt,”
“There is something inside me”
“I need it out, like right now, G”
So naturally, I nod my head
‘I’m in’, oh that’s what you had meant
But wait a sec, that point, let’s shelf
You plan to surgery yourself?
“I do,” he barked, perfect English
And then I heard this sound, *wapish*!
This lil dog had took his leash
And tied a tourniquet, ‘oh sheesh’
Come here dude, put that aside
There are people, I confide
Who do this very thing for you
So put that down, crazy cuckoo
Let us get you to a vet
Who knows how this table is set
I respect your gall, okay?
Just listen to what they will say
They have trained for ‘zactly this
So you can whine and moan and hiss
None of that will ever change
That they arrange, then rearrange
Trust in them, and you’ll be glad
The best de-sidge you ever had
Thank them when they finish you
Without you dog, tf I’d do?
How the World Should Work 