“Fools!”
High atop the Tower of Management, Slug and Kelsey plot their sinister plan.
“Muahahaha!” Slug cackles. “The Lenghornians are so concerned about the consulting firm I have hired! Little do they know that the Annual Review is nothing but a cover for the REAL leverage to be rid of them – the Guest Satisfaction Survey!!! Muahahahahaha!!!”
“Yes,” Kelsey sneers. “The Guest Satisfaction Survey reveals ALL of their weaknesses!! Finally we will have an unbiased opinion of each and every one of our subordinates! Muahahaha!”
“It is so.” Slug says. “Once we have an unbiased opinion of our servers, we can then begin getting rid of those that do not add value to the restaurant. And we will finally know who among them people actually like and dislike! MUAHAHAHA!!!!”
“Yes, indeed.” Kelsey says. “But alas, this is sure to piss off many of our employees! For no one actually likes to hear the truth!”
“Nay.” Slug replies. “The truth is something that so many attempt to avoid. But fear not, for using the Guest Satisfaction Survey gives us the ability to pretend that we say the guests are wrong and unreasonable when we read them, when in reality we actually agree with most of what they say!”
“This is a sinister plot, indeed.” Kelsey says. “Clearly you have thought this through.”
“I have.” Slug says. “These servers shall besiege us, but will be greeted with an onslaught of truth that they cannot handle! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!”
“But who will be revealed as good, and who will be revealed as bad?” Kelsey asks.
“It is uncertain, as of now.” Slug says. “But the next few days will be telling, of that I am sure.”
“Alas! It is my hope that this survey shall unite the servers, quelling their menial problems with each other and allowing them to actually get along without the need to gossip!”
“Yes,” Slug sneers. “They shall be united. Under MY rule! MUAHAHAHA!!!!!”
How the World Should Work 