The Lenghornian Revolt Returns: Chapter 4

Deciding to reconvene in the morning after returning to their slumber, the Lenghornian servers regroup in their village’s town hall, located in the small breezeway just before the restrooms. 

“Citizens!” Mike shouts, “Are we all present?”

“Ask Carly the Cute,” Chris, the Uplifter of Moods says. “She’s the one at the host stand with the roster.”

“Aye, you are correct.” Mike says, nodding his head. “Carly! Who among our esteemed co-workers is in absentia?!”

“It seems as if we’re all here.” The beautiful brunette says. “Except for Xavier the Unicorn. I haven’t seen him for days.”

“Alas,” Mark interjects. “I believe Xavier is still on his quest to refill his Bladder of Rejuvenation. It must have taken a lot out of him to resurrect me…no pun intended, of course.”

Suddenly, a loud gallop can be heard from the hillside as a majestic rainbow unicorn charges toward the group.

“My friends, I have returned! And behold, Alexis, Peaceful Witch of the Northlands has granted me a bladder upgrade!! I now carry the inventory space to bring TWO of our fallen back from beyond the veil!”

“Huzzah!” The Lenghornians exclaim in unison.

“Quickly!” Blake shouts. “Retrieve the remaining bodies from The Battle for Free Servitude so we can breathe life into two of them!”

“Uhhhh yeah…about dat.” Nader the Egyptian Swiftwalker says. “I sort of burned ‘zem.” 


“But Nader! Why would you ever do such a thing?!” Asks Christina, the foxy food runner. 

“I deed not mean to!” He replies. “I was burning ‘ze ice in the dink station because I accidentally broke ‘ze glasses in there. I did not realize we had dumped ‘ze bodies in to preserve ‘zem!”

“Holy Hawiian salmon!” Blake yells, slapping his palm on his forehead. “This is terrible news!”

“Actually,” Connee the Fairy says, shrugging her shoulders. “It’s really not that big a deal. I don’t even remember who all died anyway, to be honest.”

“True.” Blake says. “Connee is right. Back to the topic at hand!”

“Aye!” Mike says. “As I was saying, it is good we are all present. For there is a quest we must embark on if we are to besiege the Tower of Management again!”

“Please, tell us of this quest!” Pip the Pretty shouts. 

“Alas,” Mike begins. “The ancient Scrolls  of Used Server Pads speak of a pair of siege weapons, located in a land far to the East which will surely grant us victory against Slug and his minions.”

“You mean the icy Lands of the Chest?!” Ashli the Fairy asks. “But no one has returned from there alive since Grandfather Richard refilled the beer cooler ages ago! It must have been centuries since then!!”

“I fear you are correct, Ashli. For the chest is protected by many obstacles, such as the treacherous Shelfs of Sweet Potatoes and the boiling-hot Steamer of Soups. But alas, we have no choice, for we must obtain these weapons to triumph over evil!” Mike asserts.

Nervously looking around, the servers glance at one another, wondering which brave hero will volunteer for the deadly mission. Finally, after several minutes of silence, one courageous man steps forth. 

“Fear not, my friends! For I shall accept this quest for the good of the realm!”

“Oh Bobby!” The female servers woo. “You are so brave!”

“It is but my duty.” He says. “Mike, tell me of these weapons you speak!”

Looking up at him, Mike’s face slowly fades into a smile. “Bobby, my friend.” He says with a hand on his shoulder. “You must retrieve the legendary Crouton Catapult and Battering Ham!! Slug’s defenses will be no match for the power of these beautiful instruments of death!”

“Then it is decided!” Bobby shouts, lacing up his apron armor. “Alas, where is my faithful steed?!”

“I am here, my love!” Norman the valiant steed says, approaching him. “But we must make haste! If we are to reach the Icy Lands of the Chest in time to stop Slug, you must ride me long and hard all the way until we reach the East!” 

“But of course! I shall ride you longer and harder than ever before! Come, we must depart!!” Bobby the Strong says, aggressively riding Norman into the sunrise.

“HUZZAH!!!!” The Lenghornians loudly cheer. 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s