I’ve written about this before, but lately my blog has gotten a lot more traffic so I thought it would be a good idea to revisit this topic for those who haven’t read any of my archived entries.

Existentialism. What does it mean to exist? This is my main struggle when it comes to a God. As I’ve said many times before, I want to believe in God. A lot. So much so that I keep writing stuff like this. So obviously it bugs me.

This is why I have such a hard time with it. Existence, as I see it, is our ability to see, hear, touch, taste, and smell. Sensory perception. Having the ability to sense is the common denominator for all living things.

Now, when it comes to whether or not a God exists, the main question would be “is there an afterlife?” Because ultimately, an afterlife is the foundation of all religion. I.e. what happens to us when we die? Despite the vast number of religions in society and all their different belief systems, they all share that one crucial element: afterlife. While many peach different doctrine in terms of morality, ethics, etc., life after death is always present in any religion’s texts.

SO. When I apply the logic I referenced above in the context of an afterlife, it just doesn’t make sense (no pun intended). When we die, we lose the ability to sense things. We can’t touch, we can’t see, we can’t feel, taste or smell. Hell, we can’t even think. We literally just don’t exist anymore.

The only comfort I seem to be able to give myself is contained in an extremely complex concept that we all know as reincarnation. Consciousness (our ability to sense), it seems, is an inexplicable energy that I don’t know if we’ll ever fully understand. So the only solace I can scrape out is the possibility that maybe one day we all come back as different humans or things. Because when a baby is born, someone has to fill its tiny little head, right? So I wonder if that energy I referred to is the answer. 

I know how hard this is to think about. And I really hope this doesn’t offend anyone, because believe me, I don’t want to think this way. If it were up to me, everything I learned growing up would be true. I just feel like once we accept this harsh truth, life becomes so much more beautiful. You start to appreciate things so much more without taking them for granted. It drives you to accomplish as much as you can, since you know you’re only here for such a short amount of time. 

So that’s the thought process behind my struggle, for what it’s worth. On a side note, I will say that I have an incredible group of people that have supported me with this. You know who you are, and I want you to know how much it really does mean to me. It’s very encouraging to be surrounded by such genuinely good people. 

Anyway, that’s all for now. Love you guys 🙂

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