The Lenghornian Revolt Returns: Pt 9

“What news from the West?”

Back in the Tower of Management, Kelsey asks Slug what his minions have discovered about the servers’ recent activities.”

“The simple-minded slaves think they are one step ahead of us. Fools!” Slug says, cackling to himself. “My faithful flying informants saw them uncovering the Battering Ham and Crouton Catapult of old! But they are weak, outdated machines. They will be no match for my strengthened walls!”

“Flying informants?” Kelsey asks. “However did your brainless cooks gain the ability of flight?”

“Twas easy, my dear Kelsey. I merely sewed chicken wings to their weak, spineless backs! They can now travel with haste wherever I bid! Muahahaha!!”

“You are a wise schemer indeed, my friend.” Kelsey says with admiration. “You will make a fine ruler once we rid ourselves of those weak-minded subordinates.”

“With you by my side, we can achieve anything!” Slug cackles.

“Tis true. But do not mistake my partnership for romance, my liege. For I am betrothed to the spirit of our fallen Local Manager.” Kelsey tells him with a sparkle in her eye.

“What is this you say?!” Slug exclaims. “The ghost of Slobert hath returned?”

“It is true, my dear.” Kelsey replies. “Ben the Bro has defected from the servers, as they have ousted him from their village for ignoring his side work. They would no longer bear the burden of performing his responsibilities whilst he spent time leaning on the wall sending ravens to innocent teenage girls he attempts to prey upon. He came to me with ancient wisdom stolen from the fairies, Connee and Ashley. I was able to use this stolen knowledge to raise my dear Slobert from the dead.”

“Lo! This is unfortunate, as I planned to crown you my Queen and perform unspeakable actions with you in my Keep’s chambers. But news of Slobert’s return is good, indeed. Perhaps I can use his ghostly apparition to strike fear into the Lenghornians hearts. They will surely bow to my will once they see I have spirits in my command.”

“A brilliant idea, my lord.” Kelsey cackles. “Come! I will lead you to my bedchambers where I have Slobert tucked away. We will inform him of our plans and unleash him upon the weaklings. They will never know what hit them.” She adds with a sinister smile.

“Yes. Come, my lady.” Slug says, winking at her to emphasize the dirty pun he just made.

Making haste for Kelsey’s bedchamber, an eerie wind blows to the West, foreshadowing the gloom they are about to release upon the village.


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