Sure a catchy title, no? I mean its kind of right Said before, I’m sure it’s so But came to me tonight Some day an agent reading a Submission (one of mine) Will finish it and be like “Shit!” “This author I must sign!” But then the intern (her name’s Pam) Will come … More You Can’t Spell Fame Without Me
I put on my old socks, ever so slowly I should take them to church cause my socks are so holy But before this day starts, I must say that this chap Shall first drop a deuce, ‘cause he don’t give a crap Flip a coin in the well, but it wasn’t well-spent Matchbox 20 … More No Pun Intended
I’m wedded to Words, yes I’m smitten with love But like any such marriage, we fight Sometimes it gets tense, and push comes to shove As they shout, “Don’t give me your bullshit tonight!” Of course that’s unfair, Words just don’t understand Just like any ole husband or wife Its worked to the bone, this … More Editing Sucks (but Marriage is Great)
So here I am with headphones on Observing dudes put on their con A business mixer, seems to be And HA! You must be kidding me I wish you folks could join and sit To watch how fucking full of shit All these try-hards seem to me Who sadly, I too used to be Thank … More Corner Creeps
It puts the lotion on its skin Or else it gets the hose again “What a minute, why’d you stop?” “My hairs so matted, it’s a mop!” “Turn the water on again” “I’m not done bathing, creepy friend” Hold on, what? I thought that I – “Shut up, dude! It’s time to dry” “Now turn … More The Creep
Lemme take you to an age before the days of Netflix A time before you and I, when people made their own bricks That’s right you pussy boys and girls – “Hold on a sec what year is this?” One fucking seven, mother fucking seven six That was the year that we stood and said, … More America Then Vs. America Now
Come here close, come here, see? “Are these the things you said I need?” “Wait a second, what is this?” My trick worked, now you do belong to me Come on down, don’t be shy “I think that we should let it be” Just you wait, you won’t regret “You’re really starting to scare me” … More The Worst Tinder Date Ever
There lives a small famiwee, I call dem da Boyds They are so pwetty and so vewy cute I love to watch them frowick and pway Everwy day on my morning commute Dey live in a howse dats made out of straw Da parwents, dey must be da best All of da time da Boyds … More Da Boyds
Okay ya’ll. I haven’t written an actual blog post for a looooong time. I’ve pretty much used my site for poetry, short stories, etc. But today…oh boy. Not today. Many of you are probably familiar with the dating app, Bumble. If you aren’t, here’s a quick crash course: Tinder, but yellow. Just kidding; basically Bumble … More We Done Lost Our Minds
Some folks believe me Yet others still doubt It’s funny to me, really When I say what I’m about I’m climbing this here ladder Right in front of their blind eye Yet they still keep on hatin’ As if the fucks I give could fly So let me put this plainly These words, do not … More Doubt
How the World Should Work 