Hate Government? Here’s a Quick Fix

If I end up dead in a ditch somewhere one day, make sure my grave says something along the lines of “Welp…at least he tried.” Because this is assuredly a very unpopular idea to a lot of people. I’m just relying on the fact that I’m currently a nobody in the grand scheme of things. Thank God for that, right?

Anyway, kidding aside.

So this evening I was engaged in one of those wonderfully entertaining Facebook conversations we’re all too familiar with and posted a comment that compelled me to write this, because I want to elaborate on the thought. There’s your disclaimer.
The post went something like this: my respected friend Nick posted something slightly leaning towards the Democratic side, to which an assumed Republican commenter replied “hypocrisy is not bound by aisle”. Cue the obligatory heated partisan dialogue. 

So, being my typical unable-to-keep-my-fingers-idle self, I responded with the following, in the midst of their back-and-forth:  

Let’s just be real here. This whole party/red blue system is antiquated and truthfully, super annoying. In fact I would even go as far as to say this entire government/society structure we still use is outdated.

We have the power to communicate with literally everyone now. We don’t really even need these old corrupt fossils telling us all what we are and aren’t allowed to do anymore. 

Hell, you want to decide if pot should be legal? Here’s an idea – make a freaking online poll with that constituency’s area. Popular vote wins. Bam. Next issue.

We have such potential for an entire new society at our fingertips and we’re still stuck in the past. It frustrates the hell out of me.

Emotionally charged? Yes, I’ll be the first to admit that. Overly simplified? Again, probably. I suppose I temporarily let my frustration of this absurd canyon-sized divide in our country get the best of me. What can I say…I’m human. But for a second, let’s think outside the box and actually consider this. 

What is the absolute fundamental, most foundational of purposes for having elected representatives? Why did we invent the concept of politicians? Because for them to exist in the first place, obviously someone, at some point, had the bright idea of creating them (someone who many of us would probably like to throat punch in retrospect, but you get my point). Easy. They were invented to discuss the various issues facing us fellow human beings, to then draft ideas, and ultimately decide the policies which dictate our reality. In the most simple terms, they were created to represent us, where we otherwise would be unable to represent ourselves.

Now, why did we, as a society, decide that this was the most appropriate, fair system? Simple. Because it was unrealistic to expect that the entire populace could participate in such discussions and decisions. We simply did not have the physical means to fit every human being in a room, spend the time talking, and then the resources to take and tally each vote to decide what the rules of humanity are. That would be absurd, obviously. So we decided that hey, why don’t we vote instead on some dude or dudette who most accurately represents the majority opinion/value system, and then ship them of to a place where other such dude/dudettes can meet, chill for awhile, argue a bunch, and then reluctantly agree on the intended laws of how to be a human. A place, incidentally, that somehow magically became closed off to the rest of us, but that’s a whole other monster I could go on about. So I’ll shut up on that for now.

But this is 2017, folks. We literally live in a time dubbed the Information Age.We have this incredible, beautifully profound ability to communicate now. We can inform ourselves and each other. We can discuss. We can debate. Throw digital rocks at each other. Then, ultimately, we can decide. Or at least we could. If we simply allowed ourselves that luxury. Instead, for some bizarre reason which I honestly cannot figure out, we have not granted ourselves that power. Instead we apparently prefer complaining and being miserable over actually doing anything. Ugh. Anyway.

So why the HELL are we still relying on detached, more-often-than-not silver spoon fed, entitled elites to dictate quite literally ALL of our realities? I’m being deadly serious, folks. WHY? Seriously. I read an article back in college (and I’m not joking) about George W one time. The writer reported that Ole Dunya walked into a grocery store as part of some press event thing to get some stuff. After he finished shopping, he literally did not recognize or even have the slightest clue as to what a self check out system was. Because, and I’m paraphrasing, he’s lived a life full of personal shoppers, drivers probably named Bitterman or Winchester, and had never been exposed to a freaking U-Scan before. And yet somehow these types of folks are supposed to know what we actual, real people have to put up with day to day. Now I can’t attest to the validity of that story, but the point remains. 

I mean let’s be honest. We ALL bitch and moan about corruption. We ALL whine when we see laws passed that quite honestly reflect the interests of NO ONE but well-connected, often self-centered, ego-maniacal control freaks who get off on telling us all what we are and are not allowed to do, at least “legally” (law…another human-fabricated concept that I could go on about, but I digress). WHY?!

In summary.

No government. Massive cooperative policy-making. Collective consciousness. They’re completely foreign, and most likely batshit crazy concepts – I get it. Really, I do. And I do not at all blame anyone who is laughing at me as they read this. After all, our species has had leaders and people willing to make the rules for our entire existence. It’s a completely off the wall, absurd idea. I’m aware. But you know what else was an absurd idea at one time? Gravity. Medicine. Electricity. Airplanes. The wheel. The fact that Earth isn’t the center of the universe. That it was FREAKING ROUND. Oh, and I bet the first genius that decided stairs were the easiest way to climb stuff was laughed out of his cave when he first told his buddies as they chatted over the first fire EVER created. I bet his cave-cronies said he was nuts too. Or at least grunted that he was. Yeah, have fun with the saber tooth tigers out there, moron. We’re gonna keep chilling in our cave as we draw pictures of animals on the wall to entertain ourselves. Don’t get stomped on by a mammoth while you build these “stairs” you speak of. Pff.

But for real. Why in the flat Earth hasn’t this at least been a topic of debate? If nothing else, it might lead to someone else coming up with a better idea. Because let’s be honest…like a billion percent of the people I talk to feel completely abandoned, neglected, or otherwise outright exploited by the status quo. And don’t get me wrong – not all politicians are corrupt. I’m sure plenty of them are genuine, good people who truly want what’s best for us. Maybe even most. Who knows.

But something’s gotta give. The tension and frustration are simply reaching a tipping point, and honestly I’m utterly horrified of what could result. We’ve got to do something differently. 

Either that, or I’m applying to cryogenically freeze myself and be thawed out when this world gets it shit together.

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