Happy Valentines. Ha! Yeah right
The only date I have tonight
Is with my gold, to you I say
And this glass of Cabernet
All these hearts and all these roses
All these stupid picture poses
Make me so sick I could die
Go stick those photos in your eye!
This money’s all I want and need
And if you tell me that’s just greed
I’ll take a gold piece from this case
And slap it to your ugly face!
That’s right lovebirds, the time it is
To put my money where your mouth is
That’d shut you up, oh ‘twill be grand
To post THAT on my Instagram
“Hashtag V-Day” you post up
“Oh aren’t we cute?” No, now shut-up!
I swear this day’s like Christmas, yuck
Why must holidays all suck?
Bah, humbug. Get back to work
And tuck your ugly shirt in, jerk!
Your boyfriend looks like such a stooge!
Screw Valentine’s! I’m mister Scrooge.