Poe’s a Pimp

Twas Edgar Allan Poe, you see

Who said to her, “You know it’s me”

“Oh yeah, how’s that?”

“Come on girl, please”

“Because you’ve read my poetry”

A mystery, his ladder’s rung

No one knew where this Poe hung

But psst – a secret: the bards all sung

*That pend’lums not all that he swung*

That’s all it took

One whisper: *Poe*

And boy oh boy did ankles show

Giggle! Giggle!

“Lift up my dress”

“Let me Tell Tales of wearing less”

Mm hmm, that’s right

On every night

This poet caused all husbands fright

A walk he’d take, perhaps a stroll

And all the women’d want Poe’s pole

He knew not why, such easy score

Twas a rapping tapping ‘fore “Nevermore”

Was it his rhythm?

Was it his rhyme?

Just how’d this Poe bang all the time?

No charisma, not even looks

He hardly even sold his books

Dark he was, and dark was he

And yet this girls now on her knee?

All the men, they hated him

They loathed each every pendle-lim

He couldn’t help it, sorry bros

But Poe knows what brings all the hos

And so it was, well, for a time

Eventually he lost his rhyme

Laying down, he held a cross

Said “Raven’s out! Bitch I’m the boss!”


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