The asteroid is coming “Hank, get in the car!” “We’re gonna get extincted!” Said the Dinostar Driving fast and frantic They tried to get away But Stevosaurus farted And stink got in the way Driving like a crazy The Dinostar was high Driving round in circles Whilst all the end was nigh “Go that way … More Dinostars

Subliminal Messages

Advertising (boobs) is arising I am always (puppies) recognizing Subtle messages (more boobs) in commercials And I don’t know (books) if I like it Stop trying (marshmallows) to trick me Or I’ll put you (dinosaurs) on my knee And I’ll spank you (Epstein didn’t kill himself) unmercifully The spanks will be (meerkats) so hard you’ll … More Subliminal Messages

My Pweematry

In the 10th grade my English teacher taught me very much Like how to read and write real good and grammar things and such But one thing that eluded me was how it always seemed to seem That she struggled with this word so much, she called a poem: “pweem” “What’s this” you ask? “What’s … More My Pweematry

Poe’s a Pimp

Twas Edgar Allan Poe, you see Who said to her, “You know it’s me” “Oh yeah, how’s that?” “Come on girl, please” “Because you’ve read my poetry” A mystery, his ladder’s rung No one knew where this Poe hung But psst – a secret: the bards all sung *That pend’lums not all that he swung* … More Poe’s a Pimp

You Mad?

A lot of people lie and say they like me when they don’t but if you think I’ll ever care I’ll tell you here and now, I won’t Spare me all the arguments and save all your complaints because caring what the haters say won’t mend my mind, it taints I’ve got nothing to conceal … More You Mad?


Listen, critic, please understand Read these words, and watch my hand You joke about these poems I write You say they’re rigid, and won’t take flight Let me explain one thing to you You clearly don’t get what I do My words are raw, they don’t need flair And honestly, I do not care I … More Critics


“It makes me oh so fluster-ated When I type duck, oh I so hate it STOP IT PLEASE, I cannot take it Anymore, tonight.” Breathe Matt, calm dawn, you’ve created Something we can all related For we have all demonstrated The topic of this write It does it whew we do not want it “NO! … More Auto-Correct

Truth Lies

So often we ask why they don’t heed our word How all of the things we say can go unheard The reason is simple, if you’ll let me speak I’ll tell you the reason why your words are weak The manner in which you deliver your thought Is just as important as points that you … More Truth Lies

Rhythm & Rhyme

Some-one told me, that-my-written poetry Is hard to read and hard to get the rhyme So I took a quick glance, a punctuation dance And decided I would help them this one time It’s LETters, you see, that make UP my poetry But the rhythm might be hard to figure out So I’ll try my … More Rhythm & Rhyme

Work in Progress

Someone told me “Find a wife and settle down” I looked at them and said “Okay, why don’t we talk and break this down” They cleared their throat and said “Ahem. Here is the righteous path of man” I cleared my own and said “Hold on. What if I’m not like all all of them?” … More Work in Progress


Since all I ever do is sleep, a new word I shall give Replace each word with “sleep” I will, instead of “life” or “live” We do not have much time to waste, my point, do not contort So sleep each day as if your last, because our sleep is short I hate it when … More Sleepenstein

A Turn of Events

Once upon a time a lovely maiden did her chores She cooked and cleaned and washed and dried and wiped down all the floors And though her Lord looked down at her, ironically this man Would force himself upon her because when you’re Lord you think you can He used her for his twisted games, … More A Turn of Events