Category: humor

Alex Murdaugh: But Pronounced Alec Murdock Because Literally Nothing I Do Makes Any Sense Whatsoever

February 8, 2023

So what if I stole millions? Who cares I faked my death? That makes a man a psychopath? Pleb please, don’t waste your breath Just because I’m more corrupt than Kremlin KGBs Does not mean I am capable of nuking family trees Judge and jury: this I say – just take one look at me! … More Alex Murdaugh: But Pronounced Alec Murdock Because Literally Nothing I Do Makes Any Sense Whatsoever

Dog Rhymes

August 2, 2021

Why’d you eat that?! “Just bepaws” I told you not to! “It was my jaws” I know, but still! “Well they aren’t me” Oh my friggin god… “My B” “What, you no love me?” My heart is palp… “It’s k, come here” “Come here, I halp” Palpitating! “Wait wassat mean?” You drive me crazy “I’m … More Dog Rhymes

Little Dogs

May 31, 2021

Little dogs, they puzzle me They think they are so tough They say all day that “I don’t bark!” “No I don’t bark, I ruff!” Hmm, okay, if so you say I guess you sure are tough But when that German Shepherd howls I bet you’ve had enough “Yeah right! Watch this!” “I’ll out-bark him!” … More Little Dogs

I Heard That!

March 24, 2021

Majestic Mr Baxter He’s back, and don’t you know His paws, they hide in this car ride As he waits to steal the show See, we’ve discussed how we must trust This pup, for up is down And backwards god is dog, I say When written in this town Some may scoff, but they’re just … More I Heard That!

Tiny Little –

March 4, 2021

Tiny little minnow, floating during day Tiny little minnow, wassat I hear you say? Tiny little minnow, soaking up the sun Tiny little minnow, having so much fun! I watch from high up in the sky, is it a her or is it him? I cannot tell, why? Oh well, I have not seen it … More Tiny Little –

Car Rides

February 6, 2021

Mr. Baxter loves car rides He hops inside and then he hides Below his blanket, I see a claw Coming from his tiny paw I turn the key and we’re like “vroom” He has his seat and all that room Laying down, his head held low Until I open the window He pops right up, … More Car Rides

The Pants Dance

February 2, 2021

Human behavior has become my interest, it’s no secret. Its fun to look out at the world and see what reality we’ve crafted for ourselves. Here’s one I recently realized that made me laugh. The pants dance. Yes, the battle of the sexes has been waged since the dawn of time (thanks a lot, Eve….jk … More The Pants Dance

Dinostars

December 19, 2020

The asteroid is coming “Hank, get in the car!” “We’re gonna get extincted!” Said the Dinostar Driving fast and frantic They tried to get away But Stevosaurus farted And stink got in the way Driving like a crazy The Dinostar was high Driving round in circles Whilst all the end was nigh “Go that way … More Dinostars

Subliminal Messages

December 17, 2020

Advertising (boobs) is arising I am always (puppies) recognizing Subtle messages (more boobs) in commercials And I don’t know (books) if I like it Stop trying (marshmallows) to trick me Or I’ll put you (dinosaurs) on my knee And I’ll spank you (Epstein didn’t kill himself) unmercifully The spanks will be (meerkats) so hard you’ll … More Subliminal Messages