Dog Rhymes

Why’d you eat that?! “Just bepaws” I told you not to! “It was my jaws” I know, but still! “Well they aren’t me” Oh my friggin god… “My B” “What, you no love me?” My heart is palp… “It’s k, come here” “Come here, I halp” Palpitating! “Wait wassat mean?” You drive me crazy “I’m … More Dog Rhymes

Little Dogs

Little dogs, they puzzle me They think they are so tough They say all day that “I don’t bark!” “No I don’t bark, I ruff!” Hmm, okay, if so you say I guess you sure are tough But when that German Shepherd howls I bet you’ve had enough “Yeah right! Watch this!” “I’ll out-bark him!” … More Little Dogs

I Heard That!

Majestic Mr Baxter He’s back, and don’t you know His paws, they hide in this car ride As he waits to steal the show See, we’ve discussed how we must trust This pup, for up is down And backwards god is dog, I say When written in this town Some may scoff, but they’re just … More I Heard That!

Tiny Little –

Tiny little minnow, floating during day Tiny little minnow, wassat I hear you say? Tiny little minnow, soaking up the sun Tiny little minnow, having so much fun! I watch from high up in the sky, is it a her or is it him? I cannot tell, why? Oh well, I have not seen it … More Tiny Little –

Car Rides

Mr. Baxter loves car rides He hops inside and then he hides Below his blanket, I see a claw Coming from his tiny paw I turn the key and we’re like “vroom” He has his seat and all that room Laying down, his head held low Until I open the window He pops right up, … More Car Rides

The Backwards

Majestic Mr. Baxter Looking at His lands Loving all the people Created by pawhands He princes and He prances As He watches human dances A lovely ballerina Sees, says “I shall let” After all, it was His gall To invent the pirouette It was this Dog that made it all The them, the you, the … More The Backwards

The Pants Dance

Human behavior has become my interest, it’s no secret. Its fun to look out at the world and see what reality we’ve crafted for ourselves. Here’s one I recently realized that made me laugh. The pants dance. Yes, the battle of the sexes has been waged since the dawn of time (thanks a lot, Eve….jk … More The Pants Dance

Dinostars

The asteroid is coming “Hank, get in the car!” “We’re gonna get extincted!” Said the Dinostar Driving fast and frantic They tried to get away But Stevosaurus farted And stink got in the way Driving like a crazy The Dinostar was high Driving round in circles Whilst all the end was nigh “Go that way … More Dinostars

Subliminal Messages

Advertising (boobs) is arising I am always (puppies) recognizing Subtle messages (more boobs) in commercials And I don’t know (books) if I like it Stop trying (marshmallows) to trick me Or I’ll put you (dinosaurs) on my knee And I’ll spank you (Epstein didn’t kill himself) unmercifully The spanks will be (meerkats) so hard you’ll … More Subliminal Messages

My Pweematry

In the 10th grade my English teacher taught me very much Like how to read and write real good and grammar things and such But one thing that eluded me was how it always seemed to seem That she struggled with this word so much, she called a poem: “pweem” “What’s this” you ask? “What’s … More My Pweematry

Poe’s a Pimp

Twas Edgar Allan Poe, you see Who said to her, “You know it’s me” “Oh yeah, how’s that?” “Come on girl, please” “Because you’ve read my poetry” A mystery, his ladder’s rung No one knew where this Poe hung But psst – a secret: the bards all sung *That pend’lums not all that he swung* … More Poe’s a Pimp