Careful now, it’s letter C C’s how we got the cats Canine claws, we cannot trust ‘Cause dogs are more for that Cold they are, yet posed as friends Calculated, yes Clawing out our souls, nine lives, whilst standing on your Chest
Alas! Aha! A time has come, announcing number two Allow me to present A sequel All written just for you Alpha bets, they do come first Although the risk is high And here we go, oh don’t you know As Odes, the time is nigh!
Beaver Beaver, building buildings Blocking river’s way Bumble-Tuna could no soon-a Break his barricade Brackish water, somewhat salty Brewed around that day Broke the building ‘twas his fault, he Brought floods to Tuna Bay
I sleep over here; I sleep over thereYou tell me sleep where? I really don’t careI place paws on your mouth as I snooze on your lapBe silent, my servant! It’s time for my nap We both know you need me to keep yourself wholeSo stop your complaining and fill my food bowlOh. While you’re … More Kneel in Reverence, For I Am A Generous Dog
It’s been awhile Yes awhile Since I wrote a poem But that’s because Yes it’s because I haven’t been alone I got a dog And like a frog I jumped into a thing And now free time Has been declined For Pips a pong to ping I made that up Just like her sup The … More Okay Back, Honeymoon’s Over
My job as of late It’s one I don’t hate In fact, I like it a lot Its to renovate Every inch, every gate A sweet house that my friend had just got Well when I consigned My name to dotted line I said yes, of course I will try To give you my best … More The Lonely Ladders
Majestic Mister Baxter Now just a silhouette Why you say? Well today He lost a big ole bet See Baxter thinks he suavé That he can woo just any lass So at the park I asked him Her? “You bet your ass” So there he went, the doggo He went to win this bet I … More Majestic Mister Baxter
Why’d you eat that?! “Just bepaws” I told you not to! “It was my jaws” I know, but still! “Well they aren’t me” Oh my friggin god… “My B” “What, you no love me?” My heart is palp… “It’s k, come here” “Come here, I halp” Palpitating! “Wait wassat mean?” You drive me crazy “I’m … More Dog Rhymes
Majestic Mr. Baxter He’s back, oh yes that’s right He’s so cool that this one fool Thought day had turned to night Majestic Mr. Baxter Wassat? The puppy park? Okay I guess but don’t forget No bites. Just only barks Majestic Mr. Baxter I know, you never bite But still my bro you never know … More Majestic Mr. Baxter, cont’d
Little dogs, they puzzle me They think they are so tough They say all day that “I don’t bark!” “No I don’t bark, I ruff!” Hmm, okay, if so you say I guess you sure are tough But when that German Shepherd howls I bet you’ve had enough “Yeah right! Watch this!” “I’ll out-bark him!” … More Little Dogs
Tardigrade tardigrade I wish I knew how you were made If I did I’d have a kid and mix it with your DNA You live in places fancy You live in places neat You live in cold conditions You even live in heat Tardigrade tardigrade Help me with this barricade I’ve made a lock so … More Tardigrade, Tardigrade
Majestic Mr Baxter He’s back, and don’t you know His paws, they hide in this car ride As he waits to steal the show See, we’ve discussed how we must trust This pup, for up is down And backwards god is dog, I say When written in this town Some may scoff, but they’re just … More I Heard That!
Tiny little minnow, floating during day Tiny little minnow, wassat I hear you say? Tiny little minnow, soaking up the sun Tiny little minnow, having so much fun! I watch from high up in the sky, is it a her or is it him? I cannot tell, why? Oh well, I have not seen it … More Tiny Little –
Mr. Baxter loves car rides He hops inside and then he hides Below his blanket, I see a claw Coming from his tiny paw I turn the key and we’re like “vroom” He has his seat and all that room Laying down, his head held low Until I open the window He pops right up, … More Car Rides
Majestic Mr. Baxter He looks out at His lands Loving all the thingies He’s created with paw-hands It was this Dog that made it all The them, the you, the me But did you know that this whole show Was made…so he could pee? Long ago a morning rose whence Baxter’s bladder ached But Universe … More Majestic Mr. Baxter: The God Dog
Human behavior has become my interest, it’s no secret. Its fun to look out at the world and see what reality we’ve crafted for ourselves. Here’s one I recently realized that made me laugh. The pants dance. Yes, the battle of the sexes has been waged since the dawn of time (thanks a lot, Eve….jk … More The Pants Dance
Many tales I have to tell This one, friends, this one’s of Hell Not the Hell the Bible sells This Hell, well, this Hell’s a smell Many men had walked this land Before inventing the trash can I wonder why? It’s simple, so Just take your trash, and in it goes Anyway, this smell I … More Improvise and Adapt
The asteroid is coming “Hank, get in the car!” “We’re gonna get extincted!” Said the Dinostar Driving fast and frantic They tried to get away But Stevosaurus farted And stink got in the way Driving like a crazy The Dinostar was high Driving round in circles Whilst all the end was nigh “Go that way … More Dinostars
Advertising (boobs) is arising I am always (puppies) recognizing Subtle messages (more boobs) in commercials And I don’t know (books) if I like it Stop trying (marshmallows) to trick me Or I’ll put you (dinosaurs) on my knee And I’ll spank you (Epstein didn’t kill himself) unmercifully The spanks will be (meerkats) so hard you’ll … More Subliminal Messages
Baxter, where’d you go? You were just here Now you’re like “no” It makes no freaking sense I thought that you were helping me with all this stuff I do How can I pay recompense? I just want you sitting here as I write these things, my dude! Please just come right back I’ll give … More Baxter, Where’d You Go?