Alex Murdaugh: But Pronounced Alec Murdock Because Literally Nothing I Do Makes Any Sense Whatsoever

So what if I stole millions? Who cares I faked my death?

That makes a man a psychopath? Pleb please, don’t waste your breath

Just because I’m more corrupt than Kremlin KGBs

Does not mean I am capable of nuking family trees

Judge and jury: this I say – just take one look at me!

Winning smile, fancy suit, that Hallmark family!

Pay no mind to this “behavior” they accuse me of up there

Ignore my beady Manson eyes. My only guilt? Red hair.

You’re telling me that you don’t visit your sick mom each night?

Holding big ass sketchy tarps? Like, that’s a common sight

I swear you people just can’t stand my money and prestige

Or that you’re not a king like me; a Hills-Have-Eyes-town liege

Face the facts: I’m a free man. And State’s shit, so by the way

Weak questions, weaker case, no prep? Just call me “White OJ”!

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