Hard to Get

A damsel in distress she’s not, though nights are all besot with her

Affection widely chased more than even gold, frankincense and myrrh

Aged better than Venetian wine, smoother than a fine liqueur

Treat her as the Queen she is: this maiden we call Literature

 

Sought by many, caught by few, to court her is a Fool’s Errand

Exceptions only granted when one’s dedication’s apparent

Gentle, patient one must be; to nothing she can come second

For absolute commitment is the quality of all legends

 

Everybody’s knocking but the owner just turns out the light

Fight to find a way inside and find the lock is far too tight

I smile as I watch them shout and beg her for one night’s invite

Because this pen unlocks the pad where Writing lays her head at night

 

So intimate we’ve grown to be, forever I’ll be in her debt

For it was I who was distressed, and she who saved me from regret

Sincerely now I thank her for becoming my one true duet

Eternity I’d wait for her: this love who was so hard to get

Love & Loss

Unforgiving, relentless, cruel

More sour than lemon or lime

Yielded by Life, this emotionless tool

Deals pain that’s inevitable: Time

No matter the love or the laughter it sees

It strikes without warning or sign

Its flame turns to smolder the most peaceful of trees

All beginnings, it ends by design

Why, all too often, is it the trivial, mundane

That seems to be our sole focus and care?

It takes moments like these, meant for family; not pain

The harshest reminder – her cold, empty chair

How fickle it is that this Life seems to be

Just a path we all struggle to cross

It’s proven by Time, regardless how desperate the plea

That if you ever know Love…you’ll know Loss

Woe is Me

Friday night, bars are closing

I don’t know why I’m here

Feelings hit me deep inside, stepping in this Uber ride

It’s loneliness I fear

Every time, inside my head

I say that she’s the one

Naïveté and ignorance have got me acting with no sense

So why oh why do I keep saying this is pointless and I’m done?

Finally things are going well

But like every other time

The real comes out and causes doubt

I cant stand the paradigm

I don’t think I’m wrong but

You don’t think I’m right why

Can’t we get along and

Not do this every night

I’m tired of the fighting, and

I’m tired of the arguin’

This only causes breakups and

Makes people want to live in sin

I wish more than anything

To find someone who’s struggling

Someone who sees the world like me

Who doesn’t judge and lives freely

A person who embraces flaws

Instead of these unspoken laws

Who’d rather sit and talk with me

Than go out for a shallow drink

Sadness sweeps so subtly

The more I think of you and me

I wish this world was different, see

Filled with love, and yet sadly

It’s superficiality

That guides our actions, you agree?

I beg your pardon, woe is me

This world is just…melancholy

My Life

The sand, the dirt, the grass, the trees

The sticks, the stones, the light, the breeze

The things this world has made for me

Have warmed my heart and set me free

I look at the stars as I rest on my knee

They twinkle and spark, this light that I see

I gaze at them wondering, what could they be?

As I listen to waves hit the rocks under me

So calm it all is, out here with the leaves

No fear of the world, or it’s warriors and thieves

My mind is at rest, this feeling I’ve sought

A needed reprieve from the torment I’ve thought

The darkness within isn’t something I share

I keep it behind the false mask that I wear

It’s not that I’ve feigned, and not that I’ve lied

I just don’t want to release all the pain that’s inside

I want to be happy

I just want to live

Her death, it has gripped me

And it’s hold will not give

My words carry weight

Of this, I know

But now I see nothing

Through her bedroom’s window

It used to be filled

With her smile, her love

As she watched us all playing

With a ball and a glove

Those days are all gone now

And it hurts me so much

Please take this away, God

Please heal me, your touch

I don’t care if they read this

It’s my only escape

These pages have saved me

From a much harsher fate

I beg you, my Father

If you truly are there

To take this away

And heal my despair

These words that I’m writing

They’re the realest I’ve penned

I beg of you, God

Will I see her again?

Letter to My Lost: 2

My dearest Lilliana,

Not a day goes by without my thoughts eventually falling upon you. Those carefree, restless nights spent together I always think of as I sit here in the trenches, covered in the grit and dirt that this advance has cast over me. Every day we are inching forward, further and further as we push back the filth who see this world in a way that our loving God surely wishes to admonish.

Your last letter struck the deepest chords of my heart. I long for nothing more than the knowledge to tell you I shall be returning soon, and yet I fear there are many more battles to come. The officers have assured us that this war will come to a swift end, but many of us withhold our doubts. There is even talk that things are growing so perilous that the Americans will be giving their support in the way of rations and arms. The men say that it would be better if they would send their troops, but it seems as they are careful not to get themselves directly involved in the atrocities that the sons of Europe have been forced to bear witness to.

I cannot say I blame them, much as we would welcome their aide. No God fearing man on this Earth should be forced to shoulder the burdens this war has created.

I so hope that I shall see you before long, my love. This tiny locket I carry does not do justice to the image of you I dream of each time I lay down for the night.

Pray for me, my Lilliana. God willing, I will hold you in my arms soon.

Forever with you,

Your Braden

Letter to My Lost: 1

My love. My all. Such memories do we share. Memories such as the times we’d awaken to the sun’s shimmering rays darting through the window, on those soft linen sheets as you’d rollover, greeting me with the morning’s first kiss. Memories of your fingers gently gliding, cusping the back of my neck, holding me as if you’d never let go.

I so long for these moments. I cannot help but wonder where you are and what dangers lie ahead. Each day, without exception, I sit gazing out this window at the calm beach and its soothing waves; the soft sound of the salted water drifting to the shore. I think of us, my love, walking along that cool, flawlessly smooth sand with our hands clasped tightly together, enjoying the warm breeze as it passes through us without a care in the world.

The days are proving harder, my love. Each day without you further shatters my soul, as my thoughts are imprisoned by the uncertainty of your welfare. I miss you every waking second of the day, and am greeted by your embrace only in my most deepest of dreams.

Tell me you will be returning soon. I cannot bear the thought of going through this every day. I miss you, my Braden. I hope my letter finds you well.

Please come home to me.

With everlasting love,

Your Lilliana

Afraid to Feel

Vulnerability.

It seems like something most despise

So let me be frank; I’ll tell no lies

Truth is, I’m quite conflicted

About something often on my mind

I suppose I’ll just be candid

Bluntly share this struggle of mine

Relationships.

Yes that’s right. Which may come as a surprise

After all, I love to socialize, whether with a girl or with the guys

But every time, without fail

When it seems like things are getting real

I tuck my tail, turn, and fold the hand my feelings deal

You see, its not commitment that deters me

No, one love’s enough for me

Rather, the fear of failing

Is what keeps me cowered, on my knees

You all know what I’m planning

What I’m doing with my time

I’ve poured out my intentions

On so many poems and lines

I know myself, my actions

That if I gave myself to one

This path I’ve laid before me

Will fade; get overrun

And this, quite simply, explains

Why I shut myself off; reserve

I hate the thought of dating

If I can’t give what they deserve

At times, I envy others

Who can date without concern

Selfishly quenching that emotional need

To feel wanted, loved, and yearned

But as I look at my own past

(Details, for now I won’t share)

I witnessed, intimately, a woman spend her life

More than earning something that just simply…wasn’t there

These words, right now, I am writing

Aren’t inscribed in hope that you’ll read

I mean this with absolute sincerity

It’s this act of writing that I need

It’s my outlet of expression

To be vulnerable, as said before

It helms the ship I’m sailing

Behind my jaded, lonely door

So I hope this answers that question

I get so often – these words are real

There’s one, very simple, explanation

It’s that I’m just sadly…afraid to feel

Family Ties

It’s times such as these

When you want to say please

What more can I do?

What else will appease?

All you want is a pat

Maybe “Hey, way to go”

Or “I’m proud of you, son”

“It’s hard work, that I know”

But none of it fits

Beyond all my wits

I can’t do what is right 

Im up thinking at night

I just don’t understand

I just don’t comprehend

I just want to be proud 

I just want to fit in

The people I’ve met

Who never I’ve seen

They’re beautiful, dancing

All over round me

My family ties

And this, I detest

They’re toxic to me

Will be, till I rest 

Why is it so hard?

Why can’t you support?

I’ve written alone

My mind is my fort

For blood isn’t born

Its gained and it’s yearned 

And true family ties 

Cut deepest, when earned

The Pearl

Some time ago, there came to be, a gorgeous dame, just twenty-three

Beauty she was, in entirety, with eyes so blue, as deepest sea

 

Kind and gentle, she cared for all, the rich, the poor, the short, the tall

A heart of gold, her charm enthralled, she loved the big, adored the small

 

But something was hiding, behind her bright smile, a thing she that she longed for, a love to beguile

She watched all around her, all of the while, dreamed of her own day, to walk down the aisle

 

Despite her perfection, the kindest of soul, her father was evil, forbidding that stroll

His eyes never left her, he took a hard toll, his heart was pure hatred, and blacker than coal

 

He feared all the others, and made the decree, no one shall wed her; she’ll stay here with me

He assumed that all men, they all thought like he; and viewed other women, as their property

 

A day fine’ly came, and much to her joy, a kind man arrived, a respectable boy

But sadly the dad, became quite annoyed, the kind man he shunned, the girl’s dream destroyed

 

Fearing him not, the man formed a plan, to save this fine lady, to win her fine hand,

To free the fair maiden, from father and land, to give her a life, where she’s in command

 

So off the ‘gent went, partook in this quest, to find the solution, he puffed out his chest

He saddled his horse, he put on his vest, in love he believed, in armor he dressed

 

He rode through the night, through thick and through thin, the hot and the cold, still air, and the wind

He fought many battles, when chances were slim, passion would guide him, love always would win

 

At last the day came, to fight for the girl, and meet eye to eye, the father, this Earl

And as their blades clashed, the swish and the swirl, the maiden came out, her hand clasped a pearl

 

She shouted to them, “Please, just get along!”, and “Why”, to the father, “What is so wrong?”

“Why say you hate him, he doesn’t belong? Why can’t you see how our love is so strong?”

 

And as the girl cried, she fell to her knees, she begged for her father, to put doubt at ease

To let his grip go, to fine’ly appease, she begged it be so, with passion, and “please”

 

As the damsel distressed, the dad heard her cry, he turned and he faced her, a tear in his eye

“My dear I’m so sorry, for all of this time, I’ve missed your poor mother, I’ve needed respite”

 

Hearing these words, the kind man dropped his sword, he hugged the poor father, whose words had struck chord

“Forgive me”, Dad said, “I’ve been a bad ward, your life is your own, to live and go ‘ford”

 

And so on that day, the girl fine’ly found, the love that she’d dreamed of, her chains were unbound

All men can change, when truth is abound, remember this story, when tough times come around

Ms. Scribbler

Hello my friend!

Please lend an ear

A tale have I

For you to hear

Once upon

A timely time

A maiden lived

Who loved to rhyme

She’d sit outside

As sun shined bright

Observe the world

And write and write

Her rhymes were filled

With love and fear

And all the things

From there to here

And so it was

For years and years

This scribbling damsel

Laughs and tears

Until one day

There came about

A trav’ling minstrel

Passed her house

Pinned outside

As he passed along

A wondrous rhyme

So fit for song

And so the man

He went inside

Said “Please Miss Scribbler,

Become my bride”

The two were wed

Grand lives they had

The moral here

Is clear, dear lad

Love will come

The wait, while long

You’ll find the words

That fit your song

The One

And so on this day

A poem, shall have she

For promises stand

And our word, but are we

When darkness shall fall

Worry not, she’ll beguile

And light up the room 

With naught but a smile

From nowhere she stamps

She spins and she stirs

Painting life’s purpose

The blims and the blurs

Once she is found 

There’s happiness, rife

So much beauty to follow 

Whilst creating a life

Not yet is she known

But the idea is clear

Perhaps you shall meet

Or have met yesteryear

‘Twas time that this dream

Seemed far from today

Yet love and adventure

Lie just down the way

Go…

My head’s above the water

That drowning feeling, gone

A year point five has passed

The dark before the dawn

I know its up to me now,

To act, to make her proud

No longer shall I question

Why the pain was ere allowed

Instead my eyes shall focus

On this path that’s clear ahead

And journey down the trail

Where nary a foot hath tread

For loss lasts but a moment

The shock, the pain it sends

Yet those we loved would tell us

To heal and make amends

What words would ‘scape her lips?

Is there encouragement today?

I know she’d want me happy

I know just what she’d say

Go! Be the one we spoke of

Go! Live the life you dreamed

For one day all shall gather

Our love, will be redeemed

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love, Lost

We’ve all learned through our lives

That some things aren’t meant to last

Yet often we all look back

To our looming, lin’gring past

The good, the bad, the ugly

For better or for worse

Its always deep inside us

Both blessing and a curse

The ones we loved, we grew with

They truly held our heart

Although you’ve both moved on now

Your souls, they don’t depart

For those we love stay with us

And really never leave

Remaining deep inside us

The threads of life they weave

Oft my thoughts will wander

On times, though long ago

To ones I fiercely cared for

On times, both glee and woe

So many things I’d take back

If only life would let

If only time allowed me

So much, I still regret

And though these feelings haunt me

My heart, its stronger still

For greatness lies before us

And love, it always will

The Glamour

The Glamour

There’s Queens and there’s Kings

Yet so many things

Get trapped and caught up in the day

They really don’t see

The you and the me

The flutter, the flitter, the fray

Our lives are our own

Yet so many know

Only glamour, the glit and the glee

A lie, truth be told

But some day, when old

We’ll make fun of ourselves and be free

The Puggle Fish

Mr Puggle Fish

Quietly swimming, all alone

Through a sea of madness and blue

A tiny creature sighs to itself

And wishes it’s dreams would come true

“What’s wrong?” You might ask

“What makes this fish sad?”

“Oh why does this creature feel blue?”

It’s simple, my friend

This fish is alone

Just one, out looking for two

Struggling, searching, with tears in its eyes

The creature has only one wish

To someday be whole, to one day be loved

To find it a Miss Puggle Fish

“How sad!” You will say

“This cannot be so!”

“We must find a two to his one”

You’re right, I would add

So what do we do?

Oh what can be did or be done?

Well while he was swimming, just darting about

Our Puggle swam into a girl

Who stopped on the spot, and lovingly thought

“He’s cute, let’s give him a whirl”

“At last!” We all cheer

The fish has found love

He’s filled that small void in his soul

Alas, all my friends

This Puggle Fish tale

Illuminates life’s greatest goal

Ms. Puggle Fish

They swim and they swim

The her, and the him

The Puggles, the mister and miss

They catch a quick bite

Swim under moonlight

And seal their new love with a kiss

“About time!” We all say

As we watch the fish play

Their chances, they once seemed so small

But now we all know

As Puggle Fish show,

True love, it comes to us all

New Project: Children’s Writing

So this Puggle Fish thing today just got my head spinning a thousand times an hour. I think its time for a new project: Children’s Writing.

Something I never even considered. But truthfully, that’s the best way to help shape the future! To help children understand and perceive the world in a certain way, right? So I think writing a book that children can read which will mold their minds into something that promotes generosity, goodness, compassion, etc. is the most substantial way to effect the future. And if it catches on, who knows – maybe it could change the world.

Anyway, I’m going to use this page to post poems and whatnot that are catered to children until I get enough material to compile and send something for publication. I’d really like to be able to create some sort of “coming of age” universal book that all children could read to get a grip on how a true, just, fair, good world should work. Wouldn’t that be cool?? To start with a blank slate and train every child, from this day on, to be GOOD? So! This page shall be my home plate for this project.

Oh, one last thing. I’m gonna go ahead and preface this with the fact that my view of “right” and “wrong” obviously isn’t like a universal law in my eyes. Clearly the way I think is my own opinion, and you might disagree with my stances on one thing or the other. If that’s the case, know that I respect your point of view and by no means think my beliefs trump yours. Cause I hate when people do that. Its very disrespectful. So anyway, let’s do this.

Mr. Puggle Fish

Quietly swimming, all alone
Through a sea of madness and blue
A tiny creature sighs to itself
And wishes it’s dreams would come true

“What’s wrong?” You might ask
“What makes this fish sad?”
“Oh why does this creature feel blue?”
It’s simple, my friend
This fish is alone
Just one, out looking for two

Struggling, searching, with tears in its eyes
The creature has only one wish
To someday be whole, to one day be loved
To find it a Miss Puggle Fish

“How sad!” You will say
“This cannot be so!”
“We must find a two to his one”
You’re right, I would add
So what do we do?
Oh what can be did or be done?

Well while he was swimming, just darting about
Our Puggle swam into a girl
Who stopped on the spot, and lovingly thought
“He’s cute, let’s give him a whirl”

“At last!” We all cheer
The fish has found love
He’s filled that small void in his soul
Alas, all my friends
This Puggle Fish tale
Illuminates life’s greatest goal

Hey Johnny

 

“Hey Johnny!” They shout

Their toys all about

The chaos of footballs and feet

The playground’s abound

There’s kids all around

Who try to be sly and discreet

“Its time!” They all say

They’re ending their play

The test on their lessons they meet

Do right, don’t do wrong

As life leads you along

And gain knowledge, with no need to cheat

Mr. Puggle Fish

Quietly swimming, all alone

Through a sea of madness and blue

A tiny creature sighs to itself

And wishes it’s dreams would come true
“What’s wrong?” You might ask

“What makes this fish sad?”

“Oh why does this creature feel blue?”

It’s simple, my friend

This fish is alone

Just one, out looking for two
Struggling, searching, with tears in its eyes

The creature has only one wish

To someday be whole, to one day be loved

To find it a Miss Puggle Fish
“How sad!” You will say

“This cannot be so!”

“We must find a two to his one”

You’re right, I would add

So what do we do?

Oh what can be did or be done?
Well while he was swimming, just darting about

Our Puggle swam into a girl

Who stopped on the spot, and lovingly thought

“He’s cute, let’s give him a whirl”
“At last!” We all cheer

The fish has found love

He’s filled that small void in his soul

Alas, all my friends

This Puggle Fish tale

Illuminates life’s greatest goal

Life Flitters By

But Mom! 

Says the little girl, pouting about 

To the woman, 

Who feels left than thirteen

‘Twas Tom!

The girl cries, as she wrestles and shouts

Pulling hair 

As she’s acting so mean

Have I grown?

Asks the mother, all riddled and scared

To herself,

For yesterday seems

Like she was 

Just the poor little girl in this poem 

Who’s pulling 

Her hair while she screams. 

On the Eve: 10

Queen Jocasta – Sovereign Ruler of the West

Lies.

They plague our souls, causing us to act in ways of which we never believed ourselves capable. Yet we often cling to these falsities; desiring the reality we’ve fabricated over the painful truth that is life. Ignorance is bliss, they say. Perhaps there is some validity to the sentiment. But willful ignorance? There is no greater atrocity.

I have been deceived. All these years, lied to. Ulric, who, as Jordain’s Hand, was only charged with protecting the crown, came to me years ago with that crushing dispatch. News that the love of my life had been unfaithful, and intended to replace me as Queen with the Vice-Regent, Elaine. I believed him.

Last night I was greeted by an emissary who represented my former husband and King. Ulric’s journal, cataloguing his sadistic, manipulative thoughts, was presented to me. I was told Jordain has spent all these years tirelessly searching for anything to clear his name and prove his loyalty to me. After all this time, his efforts finally produced this journal. This, evil, disgusting journal that revealed everything he did was a lie.

Jordain’s actions, in light of this, have illustrated precisely the man I so fiercely loved. The sting of the irony is a dagger in my heart. He never shed his honor. He agreed to let me govern the Western lands. He conceded to my terms those many years ago, rather than waging a war that would cost the lives of thousands. And he did so knowing that my revolt was grounded in deceit. Despite his attempts to convince me otherwise, I refused to believe him. I believed Ulric’s fabricated tale of my husband’s infidelity. The enormity of my regret regarding this is inexplicable.

Tomorrow, we shall ride and face Jordain once again. My armies are not aware of the information this emissary has revealed. Tomorrow, all shall be unveiled.

On the eve of what will become a day fabled for ages, my mind is at ease.

There is no provider of solace equal to that of the unabridged truth.

On the Eve: 9

Hadrian Merlfang – Lord of the North

I told him it would end this way, the fool.

How many years now? Things never end as we intend. No, not ever. Our fresh, inexperienced selves, energized with the fervor of youth, see nothing but the ideal and the desired. Then, as it always is, the bitch that is reality bears its teeth; sinking its fangs into our ignorant dreams of yesteryear.

What is worse – knowing that Jocasta is on a false errand, yet I still participate as if I am none the wiser, or the fact that Jordain might actually come out on top after all this? I cannot say. I’ve grown tired of these earthly quarrels. My only role left to fill at this old, rotting age is to write the ending to a story that has far too long been authored. The time has come to usher our tired souls into the unknown darkness that lies beyond our meaningless comprehension.

I told him it would end this way, the fool.