Vulnerability.
It seems like something most despise
So let me be frank; I’ll tell no lies
Truth is, I’m quite conflicted
About something often on my mind
I suppose I’ll just be candid
Bluntly share this struggle of mine
Relationships.
Yes that’s right. Which may come as a surprise
After all, I love to socialize, whether with a girl or with the guys
But every time, without fail
When it seems like things are getting real
I tuck my tail, turn, and fold the hand my feelings deal
You see, its not commitment that deters me
No, one love’s enough for me
Rather, the fear of failing
Is what keeps me cowered, on my knees
You all know what I’m planning
What I’m doing with my time
I’ve poured out my intentions
On so many poems and lines
I know myself, my actions
That if I gave myself to one
This path I’ve laid before me
Will fade; get overrun
And this, quite simply, explains
Why I shut myself off; reserve
I hate the thought of dating
If I can’t give what they deserve
At times, I envy others
Who can date without concern
Selfishly quenching that emotional need
To feel wanted, loved, and yearned
But as I look at my own past
(Details, for now I won’t share)
I witnessed, intimately, a woman spend her life
More than earning something that just simply…wasn’t there
These words, right now, I am writing
Aren’t inscribed in hope that you’ll read
I mean this with absolute sincerity
It’s this act of writing that I need
It’s my outlet of expression
To be vulnerable, as said before
It helms the ship I’m sailing
Behind my jaded, lonely door
So I hope this answers that question
I get so often – these words are real
There’s one, very simple, explanation
It’s that I’m just sadly…afraid to feel
