Grand Moff Baxter just got a snip
That’s a good thing, he needed it
But hair, who cares? The point at hand
Is how paws wield the Force o’er hands
Yes it’s true, I’m forced to say (npi)
These canine Jedi? Well, they don’t play
Through the softness of their paws
They harness Force like blood through Jaws
If he hankers for a treat
One wag of tail, and there’s the meat
If he wishes to eat fancy
Treat givers say “oh come on, cant’s he?”
Yes they do, brainwashed are they
Brains are washed each dawn, each day
Lifting lips, smiles beguile
“Can I play with your pup awhile?”
Sure I guess, as I roll eyes
As silently I plot demise
But then Moff Baxter reads my thought
He can do that, damn I forgot
So much for that, I’ll sit right here
As Grand Moff Baxter woos that deer
He doesn’t care, he’s species-blind
Cause they all matter in his mind
Yeah yeah yeah, how cute, I know
If I was Edgar Allen Poe
I’d write some dark and frightful end
But the truth is? He’s my best friend
How the World Should Work 