Grand Moff Baxter

Grand Moff Baxter just got a snip

That’s a good thing, he needed it

But hair, who cares? The point at hand

Is how paws wield the Force o’er hands

Yes it’s true, I’m forced to say (npi)

These canine Jedi? Well, they don’t play

Through the softness of their paws

They harness Force like blood through Jaws

If he hankers for a treat

One wag of tail, and there’s the meat

If he wishes to eat fancy

Treat givers say “oh come on, cant’s he?”

Yes they do, brainwashed are they

Brains are washed each dawn, each day

Lifting lips, smiles beguile

“Can I play with your pup awhile?”

Sure I guess, as I roll eyes

As silently I plot demise

But then Moff Baxter reads my thought

He can do that, damn I forgot

So much for that, I’ll sit right here

As Grand Moff Baxter woos that deer

He doesn’t care, he’s species-blind

Cause they all matter in his mind

Yeah yeah yeah, how cute, I know

If I was Edgar Allen Poe

I’d write some dark and frightful end

But the truth is? He’s my best friend

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