Seasons Greetings, From Ebenezer Scrooge

Seasons greetings! Are you joking

If I hear it one more time

I swear to God I’ll blow right up

And add you to my rhyme

All these people laugh and shop

There’s joy, it’s all around

I try to turn the volume up

To drown the crowded sound

But even then I can’t escape

The glitter and the glee

Oh my God that song again

What’s happening to me

Take your spirit somewhere else

This Christmas I resent

Fa la la and blah blah blah

I say screw your merriment

All these pictures, all these poses

Smooching, holding hands

Makes me sick just take it quick

These stupid instagrams

“Look at me oh aren’t we cute?”

Ha! You’re such a stooge

That sweater makes you look so fat

I’m Ebenezer Scrooge


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